tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post6591077153139679291..comments2023-11-03T09:34:09.373-04:00Comments on Building Cathedrals:: teachable momentJuris Materhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01717212659724234395noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-76112913013364964732009-09-28T02:43:36.250-04:002009-09-28T02:43:36.250-04:00Thank you for sharing this with us and reminding u...Thank you for sharing this with us and reminding us to stay calm and loving! I really love this parenting style - the Love and Logic book I've recommended before advocates for this type of parenting exactly. It's so wonderful to hear such a positive example of it. You're an inspiration!Bridgethttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06176355894128460806noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-82219995716848602782009-09-24T23:37:16.396-04:002009-09-24T23:37:16.396-04:00Beautiful mothering, Mary Alice! The end of the da...Beautiful mothering, Mary Alice! The end of the day is difficult for me as well. Thank you for the encouragement to stay calm and focused, and loving!Kristen Laurencehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03832263040185490691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-92146512816266186632009-09-24T22:38:40.420-04:002009-09-24T22:38:40.420-04:00MaryAlice, wow, what a powerful moment, what a bea...MaryAlice, wow, what a powerful moment, what a beautiful response by you, and bless Peter's good heart. His response is impressive for a boy his age.Juris Materhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01717212659724234395noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-79797019029473429982009-09-24T20:35:10.006-04:002009-09-24T20:35:10.006-04:00Thanks all for your kind words. I think that pray...Thanks all for your kind words. I think that praying, taking time away from him and locking in the empathy were all important, and I did find that the fact that he had done a significant chore for me made it much easier to take the time to deal with it well. I am using chores more often for consequences lately -- we have a basket of stuff from the car that needs to get back to it's place, and today every whiner was sent to put something away.Mary Alicehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10817700792774657398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-44891574556309358662009-09-24T17:40:05.106-04:002009-09-24T17:40:05.106-04:00I'm so impressed because knowing both you and ...I'm so impressed because knowing both you and P I know how easy it would have been to be angry and how right you are that you would have taken it really hard...way to go. <br /><br />I think one of the best things to help with parenting is try and remember what some of those things felt like at that age (and P is now old enough that you have more memories of that time). How it felt to be embarrassed by something, and like you said how tempting it was to experiment (I remember a jar of vaseline that I went to bed with on my hair so it would shiny in 3rd grade...not good). I think having those memories can make us feel empathy for our child...which is not to say they can then get away with things, but that you can react in a way that is appropriate and constructive which is just what you did!Kate E.https://www.blogger.com/profile/14211351684708181083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-10861265075974305272009-09-24T14:57:45.766-04:002009-09-24T14:57:45.766-04:00Wow! That is a great story and you handled it per...Wow! That is a great story and you handled it perfectly. What an inspiration you are for those of us who struggle with our temper, especially at day's end. Good for you!Helennoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-83311654022745069202009-09-23T23:43:25.448-04:002009-09-23T23:43:25.448-04:00I think the most important thing you did here was ...I think the most important thing you did here was ask him to give you some time AND that he went and did something productive during the wait. This allowed you both time to reflect--especially you--and I'm sure you were at least a little less angry because he had accomplished some work while you were bathing the boys. Cool off time is SOOOO hard to remember when mad, and I'm really impressed that you reacted this way at the end of a long day! <br /><br />Like you, I usually feel like a good mom for a certain number of hours a day, but unlike you, my patience starts to wear thin around 5pm, several hours before bedtime! I'm hoping this is something that will change once our new baby is born and I have more energy.<br /><br />I also appreciate you sharing the mistake P made tonight. I sometimes have very high expectations of Gianna (5.5), and I get overly disappointed when she makes a poor choice like P made tonight (for example her recent decision to write on the walls?) I overreact, think about where I went terribly wrong with my parenting, and then wonder if she has some lurking issue that is causing such poor decision making. But the truth is--great kids her age, and P's age, will just make poor decisions--that's just a normal part of childhood. What a good reminder it is to hear other mothers share about these childhood mistakes. Thanks for the post.Right Said Redhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03000769740954672341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-45743940922673379402009-09-23T22:08:38.630-04:002009-09-23T22:08:38.630-04:00Oh Mary Alice, could you just hold a workshop for ...Oh Mary Alice, could you just hold a workshop for all of us and wrap up these wonderful lessons in a few hours? Mine would be the first name on the list. :)<br /><br />I love seeing your patience in action here. It is mind warping to think how differently this situation would have looked if you had flown off the handle immediately. You were, instead, able to turn this situation around very much to a positive. Also, what a great scenario for your little ones to witness from the sidelines. You blessed your family all around. Way to go, mama! You inspire me.B-Mamahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08889509365971309400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-15187695857258904162009-09-23T21:15:53.192-04:002009-09-23T21:15:53.192-04:00I must echo what Kat said. I learn so much through...I must echo what Kat said. I learn so much through your humbleness in sharing the good and the bad in raising your children and being a wife and mother. Thanks for taking the time to share this.texas mommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10789317984697185260noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4839413630623850301.post-43886956302784188492009-09-23T21:13:04.906-04:002009-09-23T21:13:04.906-04:00Thank you so much for sharing this story, Mary Ali...Thank you so much for sharing this story, Mary Alice. Your wisdom in parenting a boy just a couple years ahead of my C has been very valuable for me - I have learned a lot from your stories! I especially like that you asked the Holy Spirit for help, that your consequences for P were firm yet constructive and loving, and that you shared with him what you were thinking at the moment. Sounds like the perfect response to me!Kathttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16361232588380298159noreply@blogger.com