Building Cathedrals:

Building Cathedrals Has Moved!!!!!!

2010-06-21T06:00:00.005-04:00

Dear Readers,

Building Cathedrals has moved! That's right, as of today, our new site is--

www.buildingcathedrals.com

Thank you for your loyal readership. When we started this blog 2.5 years ago, we had no idea how much our blog audience would grow, and how much we would love the fellowship of our little online community. In response to our growth, we decided we needed a website with more capabilities and a better layout. We posted about this almost 2 years ago, and the husband of one of our readers volunteered to set up our new site. Jonathan did an amazing job, and we are forever grateful for his generosity of time and his joyful spirit! B-Mama worked with Jonathan to design the new site, and it looks fabulous. B-Mama had this hard task as her one last "to do" before the arrival of her new baby. Check!!

Thank you B-Mama and thank you Jonathan for all your hard work!

Please visit us at our amazing new location, let us know what you think, and please subscribe!

books for the iPad

2010-06-18T08:18:00.003-04:00

Wow, I don't know what to make of this yet. It never occurred to me that digital readers would change books and reading in this way. The animating seems interesting, exciting and in some cases very artistic, but at the same time, what does it do to our attention span (or the kids') if even our books make noise and have moving pictures? I would say these fall into the category of "high end screen time" rather than reading -- better than watching junk, but not really reading either? Perhaps like watching learn to read shows on PBS? Also, the "read to you" function is really just a leap pad -- though this illustrates another way that the iPad is great for a mom who only has to carry one thing with her.

Swagger Wagon

2010-06-17T13:43:00.005-04:00

B-Mama and I both love our minivans. Maybe because we've never been car people? Maybe because I lack perspective? After all, my nicest set of wheels prior to owning our minivan was a 92' Honda Accord (I drove this from 1999-2007). And that Honda was a huge upgrade from the 92' Ford Taurus Station Wagon I used to drive. Below is a picture of that beautiful car. Mr. Red actually drove this baby to work for about a year. I think his boss wanted him to park it in the lot next door (notice the missing bumper?!?)

So when we bought our used 2005 Honda Odyssey in 2008, I felt like I was driving a BMW. I love my minivan and I am very aware that someday I may have to drive something even bigger, so for right now, I'm feeling pretty cool in my car.

And then a fellow mom friend sent me this hilarious video. As a shout out to all those playground mamas lamenting the jump from SUV to minivan, this video is for you. Have you seen this? Hilarious.

Signs of Summer

2010-06-15T14:58:00.008-04:00

Signs of summer in my garden.

I'm hoping we will get our first squash this week.

Eggplant

Cantaloupe, which I'm growing for the 1st time.

Gianna's bug catcher. She used her money at a local market to buy this bug catcher. She and Charlie spend 1/2 hour before bed each night catching fireflies.

Can you tell that someone got a new camera?

Six Years a Christian...

2010-06-14T07:00:00.003-04:00

Yesterday marked the six-year anniversary of our first-born's Baptism, an anniversary that (I am ashamed to admit!) would have come and gone without recognition had it not been for this boy's wonderful godparents, B-Mama and GG! Thanks for keeping us on our toes, friends, and for being such great godparents to our son!

I love the idea of celebrating Baptismal "birthdays" with great fanfare. I think that it sets a great example for our children of having our priorities straight - after all, the day of their Baptism was the day that they entered into the family of the Church and became new creations in Christ. Unfortunately, I have failed miserably in celebrating these occasions over the years, but am comforted in knowing that my children's godparents are always remembering them in their prayers and keeping up with the important anniversaries!

How do you celebrate baptismal anniversaries? Cake? Gifts? A special family tradition? And if you have a special system for remembering such occasions, please do share - my family will greatly appreciate any help you can offer me!

God bless all of you on this Monday morning. Let's make it a great week together!

A Mom In the Little Things

2010-06-11T09:10:00.006-04:00

Being a mom to three (almost four) means giving up lofty goals and settling for smaller ones, ones that give care and bring small joys to my family. They might include picking up that dustball that has sat in the corner of the hallway all week. They might mean taking extra care when wiping the hands and face of my sweet toddler. It could even possibly mean investing the time and last ounce of energy into a game of football with our oldest.

Small things that bring great joy.

So today, here's my small feat that is enough to bring a smile to my face and a spring to my mama step. It is trite and rather unimportant, but to me and my family it means I've taken the time to care in a small way.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you: CLEAN CARSEATS!!

Hosed, laundered, wiped, and scrubbed. (I know, I know, I'm nesting!!)

They will be clean for T minus one second. But enjoy that second, I will. Our van is feeling fresher already.

Because being a mom means investing in my family and doing the little things that wind up making a big difference, at least in our little world.

Burnout Fears

2010-06-10T04:45:00.003-04:00

My husband and I met and married young and are open to life, therefore, we will most likely end up with a big family. This intimidates me. I did not come from a big family and really have had very little exposure to the inner workings of a family with any more than three children. Consequently, I am always in search of role models. Of course Maryalice is my number one (shout-out, hollar) - but we live several thousand miles apart.

I have to search out local mothers of large families to see their approach, size it up, take pieces of it and implement them in our home. Recently I had a troubling conversation with a 36-year-old mother of eight at one of our local playgrounds. She is an Army wife like me and her husband is currently deployed to Iraq on a 12-month tour. Her eldest two children are 18 and 14 year old girls. She has homesechooled all seven children (#8 is in utero) and everyone appears well-adjusted and well put together. As we watched our children play together, I took the opportunity to shamelessly pick her brain on all topics from lunch-preparation, to curriculum design to cloth diapering. I guess my questions inferred that her two eldest daughters helped a lot around the home because the mom felt the need to clarify that a)She did most/all of the food preparation and b) she rarely asked her older children to babysit the younger ones, but took them along with her instead. She went on to explain that she knew too many adults who had grown up as children in large families and were now "burnt out" from all that had been asked of them as children. They were reluctant to have many children themselves because of how much had been asked of them growing up. By shouldering more of the chores herself, this mom believes she is protecting her children from burning out.

Immediately this struck me as odd. I ask a lot of my eldest (5.5 yr.old girl), and she doesn't seem resentful, but rather, empowered. I have always figured that as long as they don't see me reading _Cosmo_ and painting my nails (I do that when they are sleeping, yea right) - they understand that we are all in this together and that we will have more time for fun together if we do the hard stuff together. They are already well familiar with my sing-songy "work before play" mantra. Yet, there seems to be a kernel of truth in the playground mother's fear. I cannot think of many people who have emerged from large families with the desire to be a parent in one themselves, especially girls. I want to hear from you - how do we find the balance of raising helpful, responsible children without turning them into nannies or cooks? Are any of you the products of large families -- what did your parents do to make growing up a great experience, even with siblings sandwiching you in every direction?

B-Mama's Baby's Birthday?

2010-06-09T13:03:00.002-04:00

That's right, our very own B-Mama bear is about to give birth to bear cub #4! We can't wait to meet her sweet gal, due around June 20th. B-Mama has had one baby very early due to pre-eclampsia, and her other two babies arrived right on time (one or two days past the due date). So when do you ladies think B-Mama's baby will arrive? Make sure to add a time on for tie-breakers!

My guess, June 22nd at 11:30am! Go B-Mama Go!!!

Summer Strategies

2010-06-09T06:00:00.001-04:00

Since snow days are rare in Texas, we don't have the winter cabin fever like some of our friends further North. But when summer hits, it can be brutal. We are instituting some new routines and incentives around here to help us order our summer days.

We try to go to our neighborhood pool early (8am) to beat some of the intense sun, but by the time everyone is splashed out we still have several hours until lunch. In an effort to minimize friction between our sensory child and the others, we are using a rotation system where each boy either plays, works with me in the learning room or gets to watch a movie for 30 minutes.

I remembered seeing this summer ticket system at Shower of Roses. Our boys have loved it thus far, especially counting the tickets and redeeming them.

We usually spend the afternoon spraying the hose and splashing in the baby pools in our (shaded!) backyard. My kids now ask for sunscreen before they go outside. Any other tips for beating the heat?

When all else fails to cool you off...there is ice cream!

Doula Me

2010-06-08T14:17:00.002-04:00

To piggyback on Red's previous post, doulas seem to be an awesome way to achieve natural labor within a hospital setting. As a labor advocate, the doula will step in to represent your birth wishes amidst the intensity of natural labor, allowing both wife and husband to remain focused on the birth. The doula's knowledge and expertise can also provide additional options for labor positions and alternatives to medication.

I have just found a FREE doula-in-training who is going to be present for our birth! Can you sense my enthusiasm?! We met with her last night and I believe she is going to be the perfect compliment to my husband and I in the delivery room. What an absolute blessing to find her with less than two weeks until my due date... God was listening as my husband and I pondered our options Saturday night before bed. He was expressing some apprehension about being my labor coach with so little experience and only a few chapters of Husband Coached Childbirth (Bradley) under his belt. I stood my ground, knowing labor is primarily my job, but also filling with worry as my #1 labor guy fell to fear.

"Do you think we should look for a doula?" he said. (I had wondered this same question aloud a month before, but we overlooked it at the time.) "I don't know, honey," I replied, "They are expensive and you convinced me that if I did it last time, I can do it again." "Yeah, but Jay at the office says sometimes you can find them for free or reduced cost due to them being in training" he said. "Yeah, but where in the world are we going to find a free doula who would be willing to take us on so late in the game?!" I questioned...

God answered! The very next day at a baby shower as I shared with a friend my desire to have a natural birth, she recommended her friend who was a doula-in-training and doing her first three labors for FREE. How great is that?! We will be birth #3. My natural labor has just become a little more achievable! I'm totally stoked.

So here's where you all come in. What should I tell my doula? What specific instructions were you glad you gave to your doula or midwife before your natural delivery? What words did you appreciate hearing? Should I have the doula come over to our house before we head to the hospital? I am swimming in thoughts and would love your insight!! Thanks!

Birth Centers

2010-06-07T11:46:00.004-04:00

As some of our readers know, I have had my last two babies in a free-standing birth center. I just received their local newsletter in the mail, and, as always, I was extremely impressed with the great work they are doing for women and babies in our community. While I have a pretty negative relationship with labor and delivery, overall, I love the birth center experience, and I think the choice to birth in a birth center, as opposed to a hospital, it a great decision for many couples. It isn't for everyone--most particularly those that are high risk!--but for many women it is a great option.

My birth center offers several birthing suits, complete with queen size beds, jacuzzi tubs, natural lighting, relaxing music, and kitchen areas. Nurse midwives attend to all births at the center, and if an emergency arises, you are just a few steps away from the local hospital. Last year, the midwives at the birth center delivered 504 babies. Only 8% of those babies were delivered via a c-section (compared to the almost 40% rate at most hospitals!).* Their episiotomy rate was a mere 5%, AND what I find the most impressive statistic, they had a 99% rate of initiating breastfeeding, and a 90% rate of continued breastfeeding at 6 weeks. Talk about baby centered care!

In general, birth centers are strong promoters of the health of women and babies, and they give many families a safe and wonderful option for a natural delivery in a home like setting with emergency medical care just steps away. If you desire to deliver naturally, I think it is really important to feel comfortable and relaxed at your delivery location. For some women this means a home birth, for others a hospital setting, and for me, it means a combination of the two at our local birth center.

I first sought out the birth center after two less than stellar hospital births. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful for the healthy delivery of my first two children, but my desire to birth my babies naturally, without unnecessary interventions, was very difficult for me in a hospital setting. For starters, I just couldn't relax in the hospital. We lost our first baby at birth back in November 2002, and as soon as I walk into a hospital labor and delivery room, with all those machines and beeps and monitors, I am immediately brought back to my labor with Therese. My stress level increases and I just desperately want to go home. Stress increases pain, and I know I will ask for pain meds as soon as labor really starts to intensify.

Second, hospitals are set up to deal with medical situations--mainly emergencies and illnesses. In an uncomplicated birth, the process is natural. Mentally I find all the "math" of the hospital draining. The constant monitoring, measuring, timing, and statistics are stressful and prolong my labor. Sure it's my fault that I let all the numbers get to me, but I'm very vulnerable when in labor! I don't like to be put on a timetable and told that I'm taking too long!

In addition, I am a wimp. Plain and simple, if pain medication is available, I will ask for it! If I want to go naturally, I need to move myself away from the temptation of easily available pain medication. The birth center is great because when I ask for pain meds, and believe me I do so frequently at the end of each of my labors, they simply tell me that it is unavailable and will necessitate a transfer. This line usually buys enough time to get me through the most difficult part of labor. I really admire all you natural birthing hospital women--please tell me, and B-Mama who is about to go this route, how you do it?!? A doula? A fantastic husband? Delaying your arrival at the hospital until the last minute?

But I digress...my basic point here is that most birth centers are great places, so do check out your local options!

*I realize that hospitals will have higher c-section rates because of the self selection factor in repeat c-sections. The birth center, however, does take repeat clients attempting a v-bac, and so their numbers are higher in this area as well. My overall point is that the natural techniques of the birth center are much more likely to end in a vaginal delivery.

Celebrity Weddings

2010-06-04T15:41:00.006-04:00

Fresh off the press... a moonlit bench in Prospect Garden at Princeton, one lovely lady and one magnanimous gentleman, a family diamond from him, a sweet and certain "yes" from her, and they're headed to the altar.

Here's to you, lovebirds, with all our love and many blessings. The best is yet to come.

Dream On

2010-06-03T14:41:00.008-04:00

Joseph and Samuel of the Old Testament, St. Joseph, and other heroes of our faith received crucial, divine messages through dreams.

So far nothing of that magnitude for this dreamer.

However, everyday dreams can have an enormous positive or negative impact on my emotional life.

In a recent dream of mine, my husband and I (along with all of you dear college friends) had just reached the end of junior year at Princeton and were saying goodbye for the summer. Of course none of us were married yet, but we were getting on toward that stage, and our Lord was confirming my vocation to my husband in my own heart. But my husband, respecting proper boundaries of courtship, never assumed we would get married or spoke of it as a certainty before we were engaged. The memorable part of the dream was my extreme anguish at having to say goodbye to him for the three long summer months--such a familiar feeling when I was back in that goodbye moment--and also profound longing for the certainty that one day we would be married and sharing life together. Goodbye wouldn't ache nearly so much if I could just know that one day he would be my husband.

And then I woke up. Thank you, Lord! There he is sleeping next to me, more handsome than ever. Here's our small apartment where we share our one life. There are our three children sleeping in the living room. Two of them look mostly like me, one favors him. My dream came true times a thousand. For a few minutes right then, the emotional anguish of goodbye that was still so fresh in my mind gave way to incredible gratitude for my ordinary life. It went way beyond contentment; it was exhilaration. And it lasted for two days. And I can even return to it in my imagination right now when I need a gratitude boost.

Then there are the dreams that can upset my emotional balance for a day or two. Dreams where feelings resurface from the times when I was younger and gave my heart away imprudently. Dreams that foster my fear of loss or fear of failure. Mischievous dreams that whisper suggestions toward vanity and pride. Then I wake up agitated, in a confused haze, starting my day coping with emotions that would have been better if left unacknowledged.

Because of the dreams that may come and the emotions those dreams foster, sleep is a time of great emotional vulnerability. And, for better or worse, the thriving of our family depends heavily on my emotional well-being. And we're the best off when I'm not only reasonably content but positively grateful and joyful. Now... how can I assure more of those sweet dreams about my husband and children and other blissful realities?

Well, first and foremost, by humming the right songs as I drift off to sleep? Because no discussion about romance and dreams would be complete without quoting the refrain of country/soft rock ballad "Chances Are", sung by the great troubadour Bob Seger (yes Red, the sappiness factor is skyrocketing : ))

Chances are I'll see you somewhere in my dreams tonight.
You'll be smiling like the night we met.
Chances are I'll hold you, and I'll offer all I have.
You're the only one I can't forget.
Baby, you're the best I've ever met.

On we go...

Do you all pray specifically for good, pure and holy dreams in your night prayers? Does the Church have short prayers for dreams that you could share here? Or do you read something particular before bedtime to end the day on a lovely note? Particular patrons of dreams? I want to do a much better job entrusting my dreams to our Lord and other holy men and women in heaven, and of preparing my heart and mind for peaceful sleep. Sweet dreams, all!

Can't Be Outdone By B-Mama...

2010-06-02T21:46:00.002-04:00

Special Ed graduation...the hats were too cute!! And, yes, I cried, too, B-Mama!! These boys are just too sweet!

Yummy Granola Bars

2010-06-02T18:31:00.003-04:00

Ladies, I've had a few requests for the Granola Bars recipe, so I'll post it again. I posted a similar recipe a few months ago, but this one is modified from the original to be dairy-free:

3 cups of kamut cereal

1 cup of rolled oats

1/2 cup of roasted almonds, chopped

1/2 cup of dried fruit, chopped

1/2 c. of peanut butter

1/2 c. of honey

1 tsp. of vanilla

*Ghirardelli chocolate chips to taste (optional)

In a bowl, mix together the kamut, oats, almonds, and dried fruit.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan heat peanut butter, honey, and vanilla, just short of boiling.

Pour peanut butter mixture over dry ingredients and stir to coat. Add in chocolate chips if desired). Pour into a greased 9x9" pan.

Press down as firmly as you can with wax paper.

I like to put the bars in the freezer for about 2 hours, and then store in the refrigerator. This makes them firmer and easier to cut into neat squares.

Enjoy!

*If you don't need to be dairy-free, you could use any type of chocolate chips.

For This Momentary Light Affliction...

2010-05-31T06:00:00.002-04:00

“For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison…” 2 Corinthians 4: 17

Anyone who has been to our house over the past couple of months can attest to the fact that life is a little bit nutty around here right now J We love life with three kids at home, and the big kids have been very sweet with their new baby sister, but we are definitely still working out the logistical details of our days! Mealtimes, bedtimes, and out-the-door times seem to be especially challenging for us, and there have been plenty of meltdowns, time-outs, and lost privileges between the two big kids.

I am not surprised that the addition of another child to our family has rocked the boat a little bit – this is how it’s supposed to be, right?! What I am surprised by is how easily I can become unhinged when the details of daily life seem to be conspiring against me. There’s nothing like a sink full of dirty dishes, a toddler who has just (purposely) spilled her bowl of cereal for the umpteenth time, or an inconsolable baby to make me feel desperate and alone. It is so easy to get lost in the crazy little details – the un-swept floors, the whining, the sorry condition of the kids’ bathroom – and to lose sight of the big picture. It is also very easy to start feeling sorry for myself and to notice all of the difficult parts of my day, when there are also plenty of good things that I have overlooked.

Thankfully, the following verse was brought to my attention a couple of weeks ago, and I can honestly say that it has saved me several times in moments of near insanity:

“For this momentary light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison…” 2 Cor 4: 17

When I take a step back to really think about what I am getting upset about, I realize that most of it is truly a momentary light affliction, and not something worth sacrificing my peace (or my family’s peace!) for. Yes, there are plenty of slightly traumatizing parts of being a mother. For example, a few weeks ago I took the big kids to Mass alone (Ed had been a lector the night before). Everything started out fine, but then my toddler started to scream about something and I took her to the cry room, leaving Christopher in the pew. When we came out for our second attempt in the church, the toddler started to scream again, only this time she was kicking and flailing as well. I made the “walk of shame” back to the cry room once more, flailing child in hand (the poor lady who had to get up every time we left the pew!), where my toddler proceeded to behave very, very badly. Once again, we made our way back to the pew – I couldn’t leave Christopher by himself for all of Mass! – and once again, my child began to have a fit. By the end of Mass, I had tears in my eyes and I was shaking all over. I can honestly say that being able to repeat the words “this momentary light affliction” saved me in that moment.

Each of us has our own list of slightly traumatizing mommy moments, and we live through them every day. Our families will never be perfect, nor will our days be free from conflict, but when we take a step back, most of our hardships truly are momentary and light. The house is a mess, but it will eventually be clean again. The kids whine all the time, but there will come a day when the kids won’t want to talk to us at all and we’ll wish that they were little again. Bedtime is chaotic and exhausting, but the kids will eventually fall asleep! The point is this: Many parts of our day can be hard to bear, but we must keep our focus on the reason that we do all of these things in the first place. We have taken on the vocation of beings wives and mothers, and we are working through daily life out of love for our families. We are raising our children to be responsible, kind, generous men and women of faith, and everything that we do day-to-day must work towards this goal. If we lose sight of this, then it is easy to get lost in the web of our daily lives.

God bless all of you as we near the end of this month of May, the month when we honor Our Blessed Mother, our perfect example of patience and humility. Mary, Mother of Hope, pray for us!

*Note: Many women (and some men, too!) struggle with post-partum depression, and this is very different from what I have talked about in this post. These mothers have tried everything that they know how to do to change their perspective, but it has not worked. Sometimes, medicine is necessary to restore the balance of chemicals in the brain and hormones in the body, along with counseling. Post-partum depression is a VERY serious condition, and the best thing that you can do for yourself, your baby, and your family is to seek medical attention immediately. There is no shame in seeking medical help - it is the responsible thing to do.

Dad-ism

2010-05-29T21:13:00.002-04:00

A recent dinner-time conversation:

Christopher: Mommy, what age do you have to be when you can have a girlfriend?

Me: Well, C, every family has different rules. Mommy had to be 16 years old before she could have a boyfriend, but...

Christopher: Well, Mommy, I think that you should be 21.

Me: How come, C?

Christopher: Because then you're closer to the age when you can get married!

Wow, this little guy has been listening closely to what his daddy says! Good thinking, C :)

Boy Phenomenon

2010-05-28T16:12:00.006-04:00

We've gotten one through preschool... :)

Why is it that every time I sit down to write my post today, I'm smothered by the world's greatest hugs and kisses and little boy sentiments to send a mama to the moon and back with love?

"Mommy, do you know I love you so much?!" is echoing in my ears.

I'm sorry, but this is just too good to ignore. Coherent thoughts will have to be put on hold for another day. Have a wonderful holiday weekend everybody!

Spoken like a True Sanguine

2010-05-27T06:54:00.005-04:00

Any of you who share my fascination with the four temperaments will appreciate this.

Me (hyperventilating at the sight of the pieces of five 60 piece jigsaw puzzles mixed up and strewn about the floor of our tiny living room): "I'm not interested in who did this, but I need everyone get to work cleaning it up immediately."

Bella (age 5, whose blood runs sanguine): "OK Mom, of course, but I prefer when the room is messed exactly like this because all the colors on the floor make me cheerful."

Lord help me to shepherd each one of my little varied personalities.

Overheard in the Car

2010-05-26T10:10:00.003-04:00

Boy 1: "I'm thinking of a number between ten thousand and 6 million."

Mom thinks, "Wow, this is going to take awhile."

Boy 2: "One hundred!"

Boy 1: "You're right!"

Boy 2: "I'm thinking of a letter between A and B."

Boy 1 (slightly puzzled): "A and a half?"

Emily Dickinson Tuesday

2010-05-25T08:16:00.001-04:00

A Man may make a Remark (952)


A Man may make a Remark—
In itself—a quiet thing
That may furnish the Fuse unto a Spark
In dormant nature—lain—

Let us deport—with skill—
Let us discourse—with care—
Powder exists in Charcoal—
Before it exists in Fire.

Milk Allergy Update: It's Yellow, Folks!

2010-05-25T06:00:00.000-04:00

Ladies, I want to thank all of you for your words of advice regarding a possible milk allergy/sensitivity in my 3 month-old daughter, Caroline. After reading your experiences and doing some research of my own, I decided to go dairy-free about 10 days ago. I'm happy to report that Caroline's diapers have gone from being green poop at every changing, to now being mostly wet, and sometimes yellow poop - no more green diapers! It took about 5 days for this to happen, but to me it is incredible that just by cutting dairy out of my diet, there could be such a dramatic change!

Here's the brief summary of what I've done: I'm not eating any straight dairy - milk, cheese, yogurt, cottage cheese, ice cream, etc. I'm also being careful with items that contain milk ingredients, such as pancake mixes and many snack foods. This is a pretty big change for me, and I've started taking probiotics because I have noticed that my stomach has been upset since cutting out dairy - has anyone else had a similar experience? I have supplemented my diet with Almond Milk, some yummy homemade granola bars, lots of hummus (instead of cheese), and some surprisingly tasty Tofutti mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches :) Oh, and I cannot forget to thank Karen, who told me that I could eat Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate chips - they have been a saving grace!

As for Caroline, she is still quite fussy at certain times throughout the day, but it is impossible to know whether this is related to some dairy that is left in my system or whether it's just normal baby fussiness. Time will tell, I suppose, but I am thrilled with the diaper results!

Thank you again for all of your thoughtful comments, and God bless you all on this Monday morning!

Celiac Disease

2010-05-23T22:24:00.001-04:00

Just over two weeks ago I started having some terrible stomach pains. Since my life on this blog is a bit of an open book, I will confess that I have had mild digestive problems for the past 10 years of my life. These issues escalated over Mother's Day weekend, and I found myself spending my Mother's Day and most of that following week in the hospital. I was discharged with some pain-killers, some medication to coat and ease my stomach, and no clear diagnosis. My stomach has felt pretty awful ever since.

And then on Thursday I received a call from my doctor that will forever change my life. The biopsy of my small intestine tested positive for Celiac Disease. I was shocked, and immediately sad because I knew what that meant. Goodbye to wheat, rye, barley, and oats. Goodbye to the comfort foods of holidays and special occasions. Goodbye to most, if not all, of my favorite recipes. I mourned, I cried, I called all my girlfriends to complain, and then I called a friend who has Celiac Disease. She assured me that my life is not over, I will find a new normal, I will stop dreaming about gluten, and in a few weeks I will start to feel a lot better.

And so today is Day 4 of my new gluten-free life. I will admit that five minutes does not pass without me thinking of food and what I cannot eat. I'm trying not to think about how my new diet is permanent. I'm taking it one day at a time, but I am dreaming about wheat based foods, including some of my favorites--pizza, pancakes, pasta and doughnuts. From what I read, gluten does that. It is like a drug, stimulating a part of the brain that craves for more. I eat and I feel full but my brain wants something more. I was told that in two weeks my brain will start to forget about gluten, the cravings will stop, and maybe the dreams will stop too.

I have spent most of the weekend researching gluten-free diets and food choices. I went to Whole Foods on Saturday night and spent $200 on gluten free baking flours and ingredients. I had to bake something, and I wanted it to be delicious. Baking something would be a small victory, a first step towards a new normal life.

At one point during my trip I wandered away from my cart in search of quinoa, and when I re-approached my cart I was shocked at what was inside. The contents looked nothing like what I normally purchase. Tapioca flour? Teff flour? Xanthum gum? Are these seriously real ingredients? I felt strange and sad. I tried really hard not to think about the permanent nature of my new diet. I distracted myself by adding sushi to my cart, and placing it in a very conspicuous location, and I continued shopping.

This morning I awoke and made gluten-free pancakes. They were good--not quite as good as my wheat based pancakes, but good enough. I smothered them with maple syrup and ate them until I felt full. And as I cleaned up the breakfast dishes I realized that I'm going to be ok. The pancakes were definitely good enough. I'll find other foods like the pancakes that are good enough. My life is going to feel normal again, and maybe sooner than I had originally thought.

You see, I already feel better. I'm not 100% percent, FAR from it, but I'm better in ways that I never thought were related to my stomach issues. Allow me to explain--

As we got ready for Mass this morning I realized that I forgot to make my coffee, again. I just didn't need it this morning, and I didn't need it on Saturday or Friday. I then realized I didn't have a headache on any of those days. Headaches normally motivate me to make coffee. I have not gone 3 days without a headache in at least a year. Maybe that's a coincidence, but probably not. My doctor told me that regular headaches are a symptom of Celiac Disease and I can't tell you how excited I am that mine seem to be gone!

And my allergies seem to have disappeared. A few months ago, I resorted to taking a daily allergy medication because my sneezing and wheezing were just that bad. But my seasonal allergies are now gone, and the change has happened almost overnight. Some of my joint pain is gone too. I had pain in my neck and back almost every day prior to my diagnosis. And it's gone. Maybe this is a placebo effect, but I'm loving it!

My gut is going to take a bit longer to heal, likely several months, but I trust it will heal in time. I'm praying the fatigue goes away too, and my doctor said it probably will.

And so tonight, for the first time, I'm ending my day thanking God that the sacrifices of the past few days have yielded such obvious fruit. The way I feel is motivating me to keep going, and I'm really curious to see what other minor health issues might disappear. For the first time in a long while I feel full of hope about my health. Celiac Disease in a gluten-loving world stinks, but tonight I am starting to see the silver lining, and I'm loving it.

Farewell to a Faithful Stroller

2010-05-21T13:42:00.006-04:00

Well my friends, this is the first goodbye to a beloved stroller in the life of our young family. The narrow sidewalks and high curbs of France finally snapped the frame beyond repair. Goodbye, fair stroller.
(With a grin and a double wink : ))

ODE TO OUR STROLLER (sung to the tune of "Danny Boy")

Peg Perego, your days with us were numbered.
Four years you've been our car, our guard, our friend.
The European cobblestone plus 75 pounds of children--
Your final triumph was your tragic end.

We'll ne'er forget your lightweight sturdy chic-ness;
Italian leather, red upholstery.
But most of all, the many happy memories:
Three kids, 6 homes, 5 countries--joy of family.

Forced to move on, in dire straits without you;
An odd French pram now tries to take your place.
Overweight, bulky, impractical and frumpy.
None other e'er will match your style and grace.

It just ain't right to send you to the village dump;
Your faithful frame, strewn down along the hill.
Your spirit soars, lives off beyond the rainbow,
In all my dreams and in my heart you're with us still.

A Child's Garden of Verses

2010-05-20T11:34:00.002-04:00

My Bed is a Boat

My bed is like a little boat;
Nurse helps me in when I embark;
She girds me in my sailor's coat
And starts me in the dark.

At night I go on board and say
Good-night to all my friends on shore;
I shut my eyes and sail away
And see and hear no more.

And sometimes things to bed I take,
As prudent sailors have to do;
Perhaps a slice of wedding-cake,
Perhaps a toy or two.

All night across the dark we steer;
But when the day returns at last,
Safe in my room beside the pier,
I find my vessel fast.

Robert Louis Stevenson

Pesticides and ADHD...We're buying organic:

2010-05-19T17:16:00.004-04:00

Below is a post from our friend and classmate (visit her at her blog). She is, truly, a "builder" in spirit, I hope that you find all of her advice as helpful as I did! (Hi, Red here, reposting this because the links were not working earlier).

I buy a lot of organic produce for my family. The latest issue of Pediatrics just gave me another reason to justify the extra effort and $ it takes me to buy organic produce.

A study just published in the journal found that children age 8-15 with higher levels of organophosphate metabolites in their urine were significantly more likely to be diagnosed as having ADHD. You can read the study as published in Pediatrics here. What are organophosphates? They are neurotoxic chemicals used as pesticides on many fruits and vegetables sold in the US (also in some residential pesticides). As stated in the intro of the study, the major exposure to pesticides for infants and children is diet, and children are considered to be at greatest risk to these chemicals because their developing brain is more susceptible to neurotoxins and the dose of pesticides per body weight is likely to be larger.

Does this study conclusively say that pesticide exposure causes ADHD? No. More specific studies are needed to establish whether this association is causal and not just an association. However, the findings do suggest that organophosphate exposure, at levels common among kids in the US, may contribute to ADHD prevalence.

So what can we do about this? DON'T STOP FEEDING KIDS FRUITS and VEGGIES! Organic produce is grown without the use of pesticides and is available in many of the grocery stores we buy from anyway. Plus, the more we as consumers DEMAND organic produce, the more grocery stores will carry fruits and veggies grown this way! Also, as summer approaches, farmer's markets are a great place to buy produce because many of local farmers do not use pesticides (just ask!).

Do you have to start buying ALL organic? Probably not. Some fruits and veggies are (on average) more contaminated than others. You can learn more at Foodnews.org, the website of the Environmental Working Group or just click here for their handy shopper's guide (I carry it with me to the grocery store so I know what to splurge on and what to buy regular):

What are the drawbacks of organic produce?

1. It may cost more

2. There may be less of a selection of out-of-season produce at various times during the year

3. You may have to hunt for the good organic produce suppliers in your area.

I have decided these are small prices to pay for healthier food, and I have also found that by doing a little investigating, I can find the organic produce products I need at very good prices at a few trusty stores in the city. Big producers of baby food are also providing organic pureed foods now that are generally available at big stores, or I would make my own purees for my kids with organic apples, peaches, pears that I bought from the store.

We can make a difference. Remember, we vote 3 times everyday with the food we buy and eat.

Press on Builders and buy organic produce!

(Not so) Great Expectations

2010-05-19T07:00:00.000-04:00

10 days ago I went on a retreat. I hadn't been for 2 years, since I was pregnant with Incredibaby, so I was very much looking forward to it. As probably the most intensely introverted of the builder bunch, I was looking forward to the silence and solitude more than anything. 9 peaceful hours of quiet in the car by myself, my own little peaceful room and 3 days of silence and meditation. This was what I expected, what I had determined I needed.

Despite hemming and hawing and insisting that I would have to leave late after my husband got home from work, I became part of a carpool to the retreat. 9 hours of time alone wiped out. Then I got a call the day we were leaving letting me know that they were overbooked and I would need to share a room. Sleeping in peaceful solitude was crossed off the list. The silent retreat ended up being not-so-silent.

I realized that I had a choice to make. I could let the missed expectations get the better of me and create frustration and stress or I could make the best of it and lovingly and willingly accept these missed expectations and make the most out of the retreat. Which stated me thinking (retreats are good for that) of how much of my stress and anxiety is created by my setting up expectations only to have them shattered.

There are the big things...I expected to get a clean bill of health and instead found myself in a biopsy surgery a few days later.

There are the little things...I expected to accomplish some task or errand or to get through one hour with total chaos or a meltdown.

There are the insignificant things...I expected the chicken to be thawed or the wash to be dry.

The series of prayer books In Conversation with God mentions accepting the "inconsistencies of everyday life" often. The changes in plans, the delays, frustrations...

It is not giving in or not caring or "whatever happens, happens"; it is about offering what does happen to God, giving the hiccups of daily life, big and small, infinite value in uniting them to the cross. It is being aware that I am a daughter of God, a reflection of Him and that everything I do can be filled with love. It is about abandonment to the only thing that can give meaning to my life, letting go of my own expectations and trusting in my Heavenly Father.

And it turns out that, despite my missed expectations, the retreat was wonderful, the car ride chatter was meaningful, sharing a room was no problem, and the lack of silence yielded fruit in some unexpected rich conversations.

"Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span? Why are you anxious about clothes? Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. They do not work or spin. But I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was clothed like one of them...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given you besides. Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself. Sufficient for a day is its own evil." Matthew 6:27-34

Pseudo-Poetry Month continues

2010-05-18T08:07:00.003-04:00

Ladies, this is another personal favorite. It deals with the theme of "loneliness" and how it may seem sad on the surface, but if you scratch a little deeper it can often be empowering. I hope you enjoy it.

"Song"

Adrienne Rich

You're wondering if I'm lonely:
OK then, yes, I'm lonely
as a plane rides lonely and level
on its radio beam, aiming
across the Rockies
for the blue-strung aisles
of an airfield on the ocean.

You want to ask, am I lonely?
Well, of course, lonely
as a woman driving across country
day after day, leaving behind
mile after mile
little towns she might have stopped
and lived and died in, lonely

If I'm lonely
it must be the loneliness
of waking first, of breathing
dawn's first cold breath on the city
of being the one awake
in a house wrapped in sleep

If I'm lonely
it's with the rowboat ice-fast on the shore
in the last red light of the year
that knows what it is, that knows it's neither
ice nor mud nor winter light
but wood, with a gift for burning.

Something I actually like in the NYT

2010-05-17T14:08:00.002-04:00

I don't link to the NYT very often, that's MaryAlice's job, but I'll make an exception for Ross Douthat. I thought this was an interesting piece regarding the economic and political state of affairs. Enjoy.

The activities manager deserves a raise...

2010-05-17T09:11:00.001-04:00

but I think we'd better fire the spelling teacher!

Awakening

2010-05-14T14:19:00.003-04:00

Many thanks to our readers' responses to my query for natural labor book recommendations. You all are fantastic!

I have greatly enjoyed your suggestions. Husband Coached Childbirth by Robert Bradley was soon to be found on my nightstand thanks to our speedy local public library system. I have been digesting it at lengths during daily elliptical jaunts and am almost completely through. The real question is: how have I made it to birth #4 without reading this book??? Red brought this up the other day on the phone and we shared a good laugh about it.

I think the true answer to this question is I've been scared stiff of labor and delivery! Who isn't afraid of pain?!? I had little information and therefore felt extremely unequipped to deal with the challenge. There are likely so many women in this boat. Thanks to Dr. Bradley, I now want to educate them and empower them to make different decisions about their bodies and birth!!!!

My first labor occurred completely by surprise at 36 weeks because of an extreme spike in my blood pressure. Medical induction and various interventions galore followed. My husband and I were like pawns in a chess game. We had no prior knowledge and as a result, had no opinions about how we wanted the process to proceed. To some extent, we were probably better off not knowing much seeing as the health of the baby and myself were in danger. Thankfully, the outcome was a good one--we had a healthy baby and a healthy viewpoint of the epidural. I think my husband called it the "marriage saver," which it was for us in the middle of an induction!

Birth #2 was no picnic. I went into labor on my own, but opted for early pain meds and them breaking my water, which only sent things downhill. The cord was around my son's neck and I was in a race against the clock to see if I could dilate fast enough before they decided to do a C-section. I did. Out he came with the help of a vacuum extraction. It was possibly one of the worst experiences my husband and I have shared as parents. Was my baby alive? Breathing? My husband broke down into tears after everything settled. The stress had been so overwhelming. We were just grateful to have a healthy baby in the end, but growing ever-leary of the mighty epidural.

Then baby #3 came too fast by the time they found me a bed in the hospital. I had taken a baby aspirin that morning (at the rec of my midwife back in the midwest) which bought me enough time to ride out the last hour without drugs. It was frantic. I felt helpless. But I had a natural labor. The wonderful aftermath showed me I never wanted to go back. It was an incredible experience. And now I knew I could conquer it.

Onto baby #4. Pelvic rocking has begun to fill my days. I have been squatting more and finding more comfortable positions for deep relaxation. My C-shaped "Snoogle" will be on my packing list for the hospital. Conversations of Dr. Bradley fill our evening hours. My hubby is getting on board. He, too, knows I can do it. I'm readying for battle.

I'm grateful to know it is a battle worth fighting.

Ascension Thursday

2010-05-13T08:25:00.004-04:00

Grant, we beseech Thee, almighty God,
that we who believe
Thine only-begotten Son our Redeemer,
to have ascended this day into heaven,
may ourselves dwell in spirit amid heavenly things.
Roman Missal, 6th-8th Century

*Note: In the United States, we will celebrate the Feast of the Ascension on Sunday, May 16th. I just couldn't resist posting this beautiful depiction of Our Lord's Ascension, and the appropriate prayer.

Milk Allergy?

2010-05-11T20:59:00.002-04:00

Once again, I'm seeking the expert advise of all of you wonderful moms and dads out there. I'm wondering if any of you have discovered a milk sensitivity/allergy in your infant. If so, what were the symptoms in your infant, and how long did it take (after cutting milk proteins out of your diet) before you noticed an improvement?

Just to give a brief description of our situation: Baby Caroline (11 weeks old) has had green poop (so sorry, I know that's gross), and also a good bit of gas accompanied by discomfort, and one of the possible causes is a sensitivity to milk proteins. It could also be a whole host of other issues - a virus in her system, teething, or stress, to name a few - but this has been going on for quite a while. I hate to cut all milk products out of my diet, but if that's what I need to do to then of course I'll do it!

Thanks!

Tuesday of (Maybe) Poetry Month

2010-05-11T13:38:00.002-04:00

Here is a favorite from my Latin American Studies days:

"I Was My Own Route"

I wanted to be like men wanted me to be:
an attempt at life;
a game of hide and seek with my being.
But I was made of nows,
and my feet level on the promissory earth
would not accept walking backwards
and went forward, forward,
mocking the ashes to reach the kiss
of new paths.
At each advancing step on my route forward
my back was ripped by the desperate flapping wings
of the old guard.
But the branch was unpinned forever,
and at each new whiplash my look
separated more and more and more from the distant
familiar horizons;
and my face took the expansion that came from within,
the defined expression that hinted at a feeling
of intimate liberation;
a feeling that surged
from the balance between my life
and the truth of the kiss of the new paths.
Already my course now set in the present,
I felt myself a blossom of all the soils of the earth,
of the soils without history,
of the soils without a future,
of the soil always soil without edges
of all the men and all the epochs.
And I was all in me as was life in me ...
I wanted to be like men wanted me to be:
an attempt at life;
a game of hide and seek with my being.
But I was made of nows;
when the heralds announced me
at the regal parade of the old guard,
the desire to follow men warped in me,
and the homage was left waiting for me.

Julia de Burgos (1914-1953)
puertoriqueña

Just for Fun...

2010-05-08T14:16:00.004-04:00

...Texas Mommy and I thought we'd gather our six children (ages 6 and under), put them in a small chapel, and see if they could sit patiently and quietly through a baptismal liturgy for TEN babies. We'll let you use your imaginations for the outcome :)

Seriously, Tex and Mr. Tex, thanks for the huge effort that you made in being at Caroline Rose's Baptism - it meant the world to us and we know that it wasn't easy!

*Note: Our children are the baby, the little girl, and the boy farthest to the right (sitting next to Mr. Tex). Tex and Mr. Tex's children are the other three adorable boys!

Thursday Kid Poetry

2010-05-06T12:43:00.001-04:00

Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout
Would not take the garbage out!
She'd scour the pots and scrape the pans,
Candy the yams and spice the hams,
And though her daddy would scream and shout,
She simply would not take the garbage out.
And so it piled up to the ceilings:
Coffee grounds, potato peelings,
Brown bananas, rotten peas,
Chunks of sour cottage cheese.
It filled the can, it covered the floor,
It cracked the window and blocked the door
With bacon rinds and chicken bones,
Drippy ends of ice cream cones,
Prune pits, peach pits, orange peel,
Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal,
Pizza crusts and withered greens,
Soggy beans and tangerines,
Crusts of black burned buttered toast,
Gristly bits of beefy roasts. . .
The garbage rolled on down the hall,
It raised the roof, it broke the wall. . .
Greasy napkins, cookie crumbs,
Globs of gooey bubble gum,
Cellophane from green baloney,
Rubbery blubbery macaroni,
Peanut butter, caked and dry,
Curdled milk and crusts of pie,
Moldy melons, dried-up mustard,
Eggshells mixed with lemon custard,
Cold french fried and rancid meat,
Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat.
At last the garbage reached so high
That it finally touched the sky.
And all the neighbors moved away,
And none of her friends would come to play.
And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said,
"OK, I'll take the garbage out!"
But then, of course, it was too late. . .
The garbage reached across the state,
From New York to the Golden Gate.
And there, in the garbage she did hate,
Poor Sarah met an awful fate,
That I cannot now relate
Because the hour is much too late.
But children, remember Sarah Stout
And always take the garbage out!

first commenter w/ the author of this one wins.... Builder respect and admiration

May is National Poetry Month

2010-05-04T08:56:00.002-04:00

Friends, I am a poetry-lover. To me, reading a poem feels like eating a small, but decadent piece of chocolate torte. The words make me feel alive and human and pricked at the soul.

In honor of national poetry month, please allow me to share four of my favorite adult poems on the Tuesdays of May and four great ones for kids on the Thursdays of May.

"Hope"

It hovers in dark corners
before the lights are turned on
it shakes sleep from its eyes
and drops from mushroom gills,
it explodes in the starry heads
of dandelions turned sages,
it sticks to the wings of green angels
that sail from the tops of maples.

It sprouts in each occluded eye
of the many-eyed potato,
it lives in each earthworm segment
surviving cruelty,
it is the motion that runs
from the eyes to the tail of a dog
it is the mouth that inflates the lungs
of the child that has just been born.

It is the singular gift
we cannot destroy in ourselves,
the argument that refutes death,
the genius that invents the future,
all we know of God.

It is the serum that makes us swear
not to betray one another;
it is in this poem, trying to speak.

Small Bedtime Victories

2010-05-03T22:54:00.002-04:00

Bedtime can be unnerving for parents, especially when there are uncooperative children and/or fussy babies added to the mix. Here are a couple of small changes to our bedtime routine that have made a huge difference, especially with our two-and-a-half year old:

1) Bath-time: Maria loves her bath and was having a very hard time getting out when it was time to dry off - crying and flailing of limbs were commonplace, and I was getting desperate. Not only is this annoying, but it is extremely dangerous to have a slippery toddler throwing a tantrum in the bathtub. I decided to use a kitchen timer to mark the end of bath-time, and for the past few days we have had no trouble leaving the bath. Wow! Perhaps the novelty will wear off in a few days, but I hope not! Somehow, having the timer "tell" Maria that bath-time is over (as opposed to mommy) has made a huge difference.

2) Brushing teeth: Our toddler was also hesitant to let me help her with brushing teeth, so I decided to try something silly as a distraction. I tell her that the "sugar monsters" are trying to eat her teeth, or the "chocolate soldiers" are setting up camp in her mouth, etc., and then we try to brush them away. Again, since we've started this she is happy to let me brush!

3) Bedtime: Maria was always asking for "one more story," as all children do, and was getting very upset when it was time to climb into bed. Now, before I read the last story, I have her repeat the words "This is Maria's last story, no more stories after this one," and usually it seems to do the trick. Not always, but usually.

Hope these small tricks can help some of you out there! And if you have any pointers to share with us, please do so in the comments - we can all use all the help we can get when it comes to sending the little ones off to dreamland :)

God bless!

Speaking of Recalls

2010-05-03T12:46:00.003-04:00

B-Mama just posted about a crib recall, and in the comments section MaryAlice mentioned the recent Tylenol recall. I didn't think much of it at the time, until this weekend when my daughter was feeling sick in conjunction with a bloody nose. While I suspected the nose bleed was related to her allergies, I called the pediatricians office just to make sure. They referred me to the triage unit at the local hospital (typical protocol for weekend hours) and I chatted with a nurse. She didn't think the nose bleed was a big deal, and suggested I give Gianna some Tylenol. She then asked me to make sure my Tylenol bottle was not on the "recall list." I got the bottle, read her the number, and sure enough ours was one of the recalled bottles. This conversation followed:

Me: finish reading the bottle number to nurse...
Nurse: "Umm, ok, did you open the bottle?"
Me: "Yes."
Nurse: "How much of it did your children consume?"
Me: "about 2/3 of the bottle." (it was a 4oz bottle so this was not a small amount!)
Nurse: "Oh, ok...(long pause)... well, what child had the Tylenol."
Me: "I don't know, probably all of them. We have had the bottle for a couple of months. I think my two year old has had most of it, he has had some ear infections, and maybe my 4 year old has had some too."
Nurse: "Have you noticed any funny behavior from your two boys.
Me: "Everyday," and I begin to laugh.
Nurse: does not laugh. "Well, I suggest after we get off the phone you call poison control. When is the last time they had the Tylenol?"
Me: Now mildly concerned, "I have no idea, it hasn't been in the past week."
Nurse: "Ok, well, you need to call poison control, and you also need to call this product information number. We are advising all parents of children who have consumed the contaminated Tylenol to call this hotline. Do you have the number for poison control?"
Me: a little more concerned, "yes, of course, I'm the mother of 2 young boys. Can I ask you to give me a little more information about how this product was contaminated, I mean, what is the possible risk to my children?"
Nurse: "You will need to call the number for more information, but I believe some of the bottles contained higher than normal doses of the active ingredient. In addition, there are unknown products in the bottle.

Great. I thank the nurse for the information, forgettting completely about sick daughter and nosebleed, and I call the hotline number. And, after waiting on hold for about 15 minutes--don't you just love corporations-- I give the rep the info about the bottle, and this conversation ensues.

Customer Service Rep: "Thank you for your address, I apologize for the inconvenience, we will be sending you a refund voucher."
Me: "Umm, I don't really care that much about the $7, but I'm a little concerned about the possible effect on my children of consuming this bottle of Tylenol. Can you answer a few of my questions regarding the possible risks or side effects?"
Customer Service Rep: "No, I'm sorry ma'am. You will have to call back on Monday to get that information. You will need to speak with a product representative."
Me: "Um, ok, well can I leave my number so a product representative can call me back tomorrow?"
Customer Service Rep: "No m'am, I'm sorry, but we can't make outgoing calls here. We just receive calls, we are a reception center only."
Me: "So you are telling me that my kids consumed some potentially harmful Tylenol, with unknown products, and you have no further details, and to find out more I have to call you back, and wait on hold again?"
Customer Service Rep: "That's right ma'am. I'm very sorry for the inconvenience."
Me: "Ok, well I find it pretty upsetting that in this particular case, when you have sold a defective product posing potential harm to children, that you do not have a system set up to return the calls of concerned parents. I find it hard to believe that with all the technology available to us, you don't have the ability to make outgoing calls."
Customer Service Rep: "I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
Me: realizing slowly that I'm wasting my time and breath talking to this guy about the poor customer service system, "I know this isn't your fault, but tell your manager that the system you guys have stinks." I then do my own research, call poison control, and confirm my suspicion that my kids will be fine.

Now, I have a tendency to lose my patience and my temper in these sorts of conversations with customer service representatives. I have been known to yell, cry, and name call. I'm sure I've given more than one priest a good chuckle in confession as I describe my embarrassing behavior. I loath the administrative dealings of large corporate customer service departments. I find it amazing that they can't make an outgoing call, they cannot transfer you to a supervisor without at least an hour wait, and that you always hear a voice telling you about the abnormally high call volume and the longer than normal wait time. The general feeling of helplessness that comes from the entire experience is unsettling. When I'm postpartum, overtired, or pregnant the after effects of these experiences are really frightening.

I've been meditating on this a lot lately, because last week I had a battle with Verizon over our internet connection. The internet had been down for 5 days and I spent over 8 hours on the phone trying to get the connection fixed. It was frustrating, and my efforts were pretty much futile. While each conversation didn't end in tears, each day I allowed the feeling of helplessness to consume me, even if only for a brief time, and I lost my interior peace. I then read this passage:

The exercise of freedom as a choice among options, plainly is important. However, to avoid making painful mistakes we also need to understand that there is another way of exercise freedom: less immediately exciting, poorer, humbler, but much more common, and one immensely fruitful, both humanly and spiritually. It is consenting to what we did not originally choose...The highest and most fruitful form of human freedom is found in accepting, even more than in dominating. We show the greatness of our freedom when we transform reality, but still more when we accept it trustingly as it is given to us day after day...in order to become truly free, we are often called to accept what we did not want, and even what we would not have wanted at any price. There is a paradoxical law of human life here: one cannot be truly free unless one accepts not always being free!

To achieve true interior freedom we must train ourselves to accept, peacefully and willingly, plenty of things that seem to contradict our freedom. This means consenting to our personal limitations, our weaknesses, our powerlessness, this or that situation that life imposes on us, and so on.

Quoted from Interior Freedom by Jacques Philippe

In the life of this simple mother, it means accepting the difficult reality of customer service departments at large corporations. I am not "helpless" in a spiritual sense. I can "do something" about the situation. I can accept it as God's will in my life. I'm naturally an active and aggressive person, so the image of actually choosing acceptance, rather than passively dealing with the trials given to me, frees my soul and leaves me ready for the next challenge. To have interior freedom and peace, I don't need to be passive. I have a choice to make with regards to every trial.

And so today I'm praying for the grace to choose acceptance of small trials.

On a practical note, I got more information from my own web searches on the recall. If you want a complete list of recalled products, check out this site. I'm sure my kids will be fine. They have consumed unknown products before and I'm sure they will do so again in the future.

Mom on a Mission

2010-04-30T14:55:00.004-04:00

It was 12am last night and I was a mom on a mission.

My hubby and I had just finished watching a movie and (of course) I had to swing by the computer to check my email one last time before heading to bed...

That's when I learned about the latest crib recall. Be sure to check it out if you haven't already! Something looked vaguely familiar. It was the simple lines, the curving arches, the "metal frame" causing potential harm...

IT WAS OUR HAND-ME-DOWN CRIB THAT MY VERY SWEET TODDLER BABY WAS SLEEPING IN RIGHT UPSTAIRS!!!! AHHH!!!

Watch out. With precious cub in danger, mama bear was on a mission. I snuck into the older boys' room and snatched a pair of their "night vision" goggles. Then I headed down the hall to our Baby J's room and snuck inside, going immediately to all 4's (mind you, 32 weeks pregnant!), goggles on, crouching down to see the crib label on the underside of the bed. lol. It appeared to be *identical* to the one I saw online. I had to double check.

Out I went into the hallway, hollering to my hubby that, indeed, our crib was one of the recalled ones and could pose a strangulation hazard to our dear Baby J.

I could almost see a smile creep onto his face. You see, he's a papa bear and I'm a mama bear. And mama bears take news of crib recalls a LOT more dramatically than papa bears (or at least they do in our household!)

In no time, I was back from the computer, with printed sheet in hand to verify the crib label. It was an identical match. I don't know if I felt more satisfied at my sleuthing or more crestfallen at our new situation. How was I going to let my precious cub spend one more minute in that crib? Should we let him sleep to morning? Should we set up the pack 'n play and move him mid-sleep? Should we set up some elaborate support structure to make it all right before going to bed ourselves? My mama brain was toiling...

When papa bear brought up a theme from the movie and began pontificating as to its meaning and symbolism. Heelllloooo Papa Bear!!!!!??? Did he not realize that one of our children was in grave danger (in my hyperbolic mama bear mind!)?????

And then it hit me how different we are as mama and papa bears. His job is not to worry. I've got that part under control to the nth degree. His job is to soothe my crazy mama bear emotions. His job is not to stress, but to assuage my stress. His job is to change the subject and get my mind off my fears.

I redirected our conversation back to our baby bear in danger. "Should I go set up the pack 'n play?" was the first thought out of his mouth. Good Papa Bear. He was humoring me. Eventually as we watched the little cherub sleep, Papa Bear convinced me to let our cub rest and tackle the problem in the morning. Okay, okay--with a few extra prayers sent heavenward!!

Praise God for my Papa Bear! That's how our marriage works. We give and take. We push and pull. We're mamas and papas and we're put on earth to help bring up our little baby bears and point them toward heaven the best way we know how.

And in the morning, we might just find out that our crib is not one of the models recalled. lol. Alleluia, alleluia! Lesson learned...

Train Tracks

2010-04-30T03:22:00.001-04:00

Friends, I am looking for your recommendations on the best websites from which to purchase lots of this:

We are overseas, so I do not have the luxury of going to a store, so websites only if you please. My 2yr.-old trainhead (and the rest of us) thank you.

Book Rec

2010-04-29T11:34:00.007-04:00

I think we can all agree a higher standard of ethics would be beneficial in the world of business. Our Princeton comrade, Max Anderson, has answered this call as his book hits the shelves today:

THE MBA OATH: Setting a Higher Standard for Business Leaders

"...provides a strong case for why the MBA Oath is necessary and examples of how it can be practically applied. Using case studies of real world business dilemmas, Max Anderson and Peter Escher explain why a Hippocratic Oath for business is not only a good idea…it is good business."

And it's been getting great reviews--check it out!

Way to go, Max!

Abandonment

2010-04-28T07:00:00.003-04:00

My husband and I play a little game with the boys when we hit a red light: "Mommy, Mommy," they beg, "make the light change! Remember to ask it nicely!"

And then we begin a short or long request for the light to change to green using lots of big words and fancy language by keeping our eye on the lights the other direction waiting for them to change yellow to make our final triumphant request for green. The boys squeal with glee that we have once again made the light change at our command. Rocket science it is not, but it does give the illusion to a 3 year old of power over the lights.

I recently came across this passage in The Faith Explained by Leo Trese (an excellent book, by the way, highly recommended reading!) on the workings of grace in our souls:

And then on judgement day we shall get our first square look at ourselves. We shall see the full picture of the workings of grace in our life. We shall see how little we ourselves had to do with our heroic decisions and our supposedly noble deeds. Almost, we can imagine God smiling at us in loving amusement as he sees our chagrin; as he hears us exclaim in confusion, "Why God! It was you all the time!"

He later writes, "It becomes our responsibility, then, to do our best in removing obstacles to the operation of grace; to do our best to facilitate the effects of grace."

All too often I fall into the trap of hidden pride, thinking that more effort will yield the results that I want. I want to buy into the illusion that things are in my control, rather than abandon myself to the will of our Lord, which only puts up a barrier to the grace I so desperately need. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. Perhaps a prayer from a holy man will help me today:

Charles de Foucauld's Prayer of Abandonment:

Father,
I abandon myself into your hands;
do with me what you will.
Whatever you may do, I thank you:
I am ready for all, I accept all.

Let only your will be done in me,
and in all your creatures -
I wish no more than this, O Lord.

Into your hands I commend my soul:
I offer it to you with all the love of my heart,
for I love you, Lord, and so need to give myself,
to surrender myself into your hands without reserve,
and with boundless confidence,
for you are my Father.

The Futile and Joyful W/a 2-Yr. Old Male

2010-04-27T07:42:00.002-04:00

I have a 2.33 year-old son who revolutionizes my parenting daily. Many times strangers and friends alike have either commented that he is "all boy" or "soo two".... neither of which I think were particularly complimentary. He gives me no peace in his waking hours, but I don't think he has been sad for a moment in his life. Totally exuberant.

As much trouble as this middle guy makes, I am still rewarded with little puffs of refreshment from the Holy Spirit every once in awhile. Or rather, moments of humor - I credit the Holy Spirit with both in my life. Last night I had to smile as I carefully folded and smoothed a pair of his brown courduroy pants to be put away. I laughed as I thought, "how hysterical that I am meticulously folding these little 2T outfits that will be dirty and rumpled within seconds of them going on him." The actions of folding this boy's clothes are almost laughable. Yet the Holy Spirit helps me over the futile folding with thoughts of smoothing love and attention through my palms in hope that these emotions seep through his pores later when he wears that particular pair of pants or shirt. The joyful moment with Whirlwind Boy came over me just an hour ago as we lay in his trundle bed surrounded in Bob The Builder sheets. He was going down for his afternoon nap, and do you know what those chubby long arms did? The arms that get him in trouble all day for pushing, hitting, hammering, or throwing.... those little appendages wrapped around my neck and pulled my nose right up to his as his breathing became deeper and deeper and he fell asleep. The most peaceful 2 hours this apartment sees daily are now underway, and I just wanted to ensure I captured these futile and joyful tidbits of life with a 2yr.-old boy.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

2010-04-26T09:49:00.004-04:00

We've been having some fun with planting this spring, thanks to Christopher's interest in gardening (they're learning about plants at school this month!). Last week, Christopher came home with a lima bean plant and wanted to plant it in the clay behind our garage, along with some apple seeds, so he built himself a makeshift garden and was very excited that he did it all by himself...Well, with a little help from his sister, who diligently brought him rocks for his border :)

Christopher has been asking me if we could plant a garden for quite some time now, but I just haven't put the time into doing it yet. Part of my hesitation has been that our backyard flower beds get almost no sunlight in the course of a day. My understanding is that veggies need lots of sunlight (at least 6 hours a day) in order to thrive. Is this correct? Any gardening experts out there, I would appreciate it if you had some thoughts on this subject!

Holly's First Holy Communion

2010-04-25T22:36:00.002-04:00

I just have to post these because I know that you will all want to see my sweet Holly on her First Communion Day. Here she is at the altar, with her godmother Red and with her entire family. Thanks to those who have been praying for her in preparation for this big day, it was very wonderful!

Natural Recs?

2010-04-22T07:20:00.003-04:00

During my last labor, I had a natural delivery because I had to wait on lab results before getting the epidural. It stalled me long enough and out boy #3 came!

The process was a bit harried and crazy, but I loved it. LOVED it.

And I want to do it again.

I am in week 32 of pregnancy and know we are a little late to sign up for Bradley classes. Are there any books you all would recommend to help prepare us a bit better for a natural delivery undertaking?? I can remember "blowing out the candle" and wondering what the heck I was really doing. Your input would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!!

The Dillema of the Modern Catholic Mother

2010-04-21T07:24:00.003-04:00

100% unposed.

Possible titles: "Jezebel gets a lesson." "Catholic School for Wooden Princesses." or "Mother-Daughter Homeschool Compromise."

St. Gianna Novena--Begins Today

2010-04-20T12:06:00.003-04:00

Here is a novena to St. Gianna, it begins today and finishes on her Feast Day, next Wed. April 28th.

Novena To Obtain Graces Through the Intercession of Saint Gianna Beretta Molla

God, our Father, You have granted to Your church the gift of Gianna Beretta Molla. In her youth she lovingly sought You and drew other young people to You, involving them, through apostolic witness and Catholic Action, in the care of the sick and aged, to help and comfort them.

We thank You for the gift of this young woman, so deeply committed to You. Through her example grant us the grace to consecrate our lives to Your service, for the joy of our brothers and sisters.

Glory be …

Jesus, Redeemer of mankind, You called Saint Gianna to exercise the medical profession as a mission for the comfort of bodies and souls. In her suffering fellow men and in the little ones, deprived of all support, she saw You.

We thank You for having revealed Yourself to this servant as “one who serves” and who soothes the sufferings of men. Treasuring her example may we become generous Christians at the service of our brothers and sisters, especially those with whom You deign to share Your Cross.

Glory be…

God, Sanctifying Spirit, who love the Church as Your Bride, You poured into the heart of Saint Gianna a share of Your Love so that she could radiate it in her family, and thus cooperate with You in the wonderful plan of creation, and give life to new children who could know and love You.

We thank You for this model wife and, through her encouraging witness, we beg You to grant to our families the serene and Christian presence of mothers committed to transform their homes into cenacles of faith and love, rich with generous activity and sanctifying service.

Glory be…

O God, Creator and lover of mankind, You were close to Saint Gianna when, affected by illness, she was in the painful dilemma of choosing between her own life and the life of the child whom she was carrying in herself, a gift long-awaited. Trusting You alone, and aware of Your Commandment to respect human life, Gianna found the courage to do her duty as a mother and to say “yes” to the new life of her baby, generously sacrificing her own. Through the intercession of Mary, Mother of Jesus, and after the example of Gianna, inspire all mothers to welcome with love the sparkle of new life. Grant us the grace we are praying for …………. and the joy to find an inspiration in Saint Gianna who, as a model spouse and mother, after the example of Christ, gave up her life for the life of others.

Hail Mary…

What We've Been Up To

2010-04-19T08:45:00.002-04:00

Giving our little sister lots of love, sleeping in new rooms, dying Easter eggs (yes, we were a little late this year, but it was a perfect opportunity to explain to the children that Easter lasts for 50 days)...This has been our life recently! The past couple of weekends have been consumed by moving the children into their new bedrooms, and all of the organization and decorating that comes with this task, but I'm thrilled to say that we're. almost. done. Thanks to my hubby for all of his hard work in this regard!

God bless all of you on this Monday morning!

Gratitude In All Realms

2010-04-16T13:20:00.004-04:00

One sure-fire way to avoid the pitfalls of complaining in pregnancy is by stopping to smell the roses in life, the abundant blessings which He has given to little, old me. I am undeserving and yet acutely blessed. And I've been challenged more toward an attitude of gratitude in the wake of these blessings.

I am acutely aware of the blessing of the life growing within. Many thanks to this lady and this one, I have been learning about walking God's path and joyfully accepting what He has for me. I have been learning to relish pregnancy blessings by the bucket load--the aches, the heartburn, you name it--all are beautiful signs of my body bringing forth life. And I don't take that blessing lightly.

As I watched the lives of both Therese Joy (Red's first child) and Lucy Rose (Kat's second child) come into this world and depart, I am desperately reminded that life is fleeting; that every moment is to be accounted for; and that health is not something to take for granted. For it is beyond easy to slip into a downtrodden mentality in pregnancy and to become uber-sensitive to the outside world and the changes happening to one's body. But what joy at these changes!! For they signal a thriving, healthy baby. I would take all the extra comments in the world times a million just to be able to hold my precious child in the end. The strength of these friends of mine are such a testament to their faiths and God's continued blessings upon them.

In addition, I have been recently blessed with a friend who teaches me about maternal sacrifice on a daily basis. While pregnant with her second child, she and her husband were given the news that the baby had a 5% chance of living. Today, her daughter is 3-years-old and can walk, breathe, use sign-language, and still give her mother every bit of stubbornness! This friend continues to stare death in the face at every turn and every surgery, but does not back down. She has come to appreciate her abundant blessings and wouldn't have things any other way. What an inspiration she has been to me!!

Would I ever dare open my mouth to complain about pregnancy to any of these amazing women (or to anyone else for that matter!)? Close it up and move on, B-mama!!! :) I am challenged to look beyond myself and see more blessings than ever. Because for all of us, the blessings are always there and always need to be relished.

Building Cathedrals Goes Mediterranean

2010-04-15T15:55:00.011-04:00

How's this for exotic?

AWOL Mommy and I spent much of this Tuesday and Wednesday together in Bella Roma, along with our families, feasting in our apartment, attending an audience with Pope Benedict XVI in St. Peter's Square, and picnicking at the playground behind the Castel Sant'Angelo (pictured above). How delightful it was to share family adventures with our dear friends AWOL and Mr. AWOL and their loving, creative, fun children!

Wish you all could have been here.

(The kids watching Ratatouille while we adults wined and dined in the next room. In this photo, one junior AWOL is on each side, baby AWOL is not pictured, and mine are the three in the middle... they sure got along swimmingly.)

Roman Coffee

2010-04-14T07:00:00.002-04:00

Juris Mater's Roman adventure has me thinking nostalgically of the time I spent living in Roma, working as an intern at the US Embassy to the Vatican. I thought I'd post one of the vignettes I sent out during my time there. This is the one about coffee. Which reminds me, and maybe I am the last person in the world to figure this out, but I have started pouring my coffee into a travel mug in the mornings, even when we don't leave the house. It stays warm for hours. Brilliant!! How did it take me 5 years to realize this??

Rome Vignette II: Coffee

By the time I arrive at work--anywhere from a 15-50
minute ordeal given the reliability of Italian
transportation and the frequency of strikes--I am
approximately 1 hour removed from my first coffee of
the day in the comfort of my apartment. Despite being
on US soil within the Embassy compound, the Italians
who work here refuse to succumb to a Folgers-Starbucks
kind of world. Ask for a cafe americano and you get a look

ranging from disgust to pity.

The feat of arriving to the Embassy at 8:30 warrants a
cafe, or so I am told by Massimo, who coordinates the
Embassy's financial matters and the coffee (equally
significant jobs). One of my first official e-mails I
received on my state department account was RE: COFFEE
BEANS. We were all asked to contribute 10 euros so that
the Embassy could buy good coffee beans. Of the 15
people who work at Embassy Vatican, 2/3 claim to make
the best coffee, and, within the course of a day, it
seems I have enough opportunities to try them all.

10am. Clearly time for a coffee break. Massimo always
has dibs on making the coffee for this coveted time
slot. Contrary to the United States, making coffee is
not a dreaded task delegated to the lowest man on the
totem pole, but an opportunity for glamour and
prestige. After the 10am break, most can usually hang
on until lunch for the next hit of caffeine. Throughout
the afternoon, there are many other opportunities to
imbibe in the other Italian elixir of life. I have been
offered coffee by drivers, security guards, a protocol
officer, a janitor, and a political genius. Apparently
it is a very egalitarian drink.

The coffee is usually made on the stove, but I happened
to be here for the day when the electric coffee maker
came. It is nothing like an American one, lest you
worry...it is Italian and makes Italian coffee.
However, not one of the self-proclaimed experts was
about to be shown up by the sleek, silver machine. The
New Zealander in the office who was reading the
instructions declared the machine to be
"self-cleaning."

That was the nail in the coffin. "The coffee pot must
be seasoned!!" One would have thought we had just ended
diplomatic relations with the Holy See given the
fervency of the cries. Apparently a clean coffee pot is
a bad thing. But, at the end of the day, I have had
many cups of good, strong coffee that Small World
couldn't hold a candle to.

Tis the season

2010-04-13T20:38:00.003-04:00

Do you have allergies? Do your kids? Do you treat them? I feel like an antihystimine ad right now, I am walking through my day with a cloud around my head, my nose runs, my throat itches, and my kids seem to be the same. I took an OTC generic medication today and I don't think it helped, except that very honestly I feel a little bit jumpy, and I hesitate to give it to the kids, should I be consulting a doctor first? Should I keep trying for myself, are the effects cumulative? I know that some people have been dealing with this for years, so please advise! Thanks!

New Neighbors

2010-04-13T11:36:00.003-04:00

What's almost as cool another family moving in with 3 boys and a little girl on the way???

New neighbors from England!!!!

The boys and I delivered cookies there yesterday and enjoyed meeting new friends from "across the pond".

As we were chatting, they asked if our homeowners' dues covered the cost of the "bins". I was confused at first until realizing they were referring to the trash cans! Love the Brit terminology. We all had a good chuckle.

And hopefully its the first of many.

Birthday Cake Help!

2010-04-12T06:00:00.000-04:00

Ladies, I write to you on this Monday morning looking for some culinary advice. My almost 6-year-old would like a frog cake for his birthday party, and I'm trying to figure out the best way to go about making it! The last time that I attempted a frog birthday cake, the guests all thought that I had made the Arthur character - somehow the frog eyes looked like glasses. I'm considering just making a round cake, frosting it with blue icing to look like a pond, and sticking plastic frog figurines on top. But I would love to make an actual frog cake - so if you have any ideas, please share!

Picture Perfect

2010-04-11T19:08:00.013-04:00

My sister was in town for Easter, and in the past few years she has taken up photography as a new hobby (and she is getting quite good!). There are definite perks in this for me, and I took full advantage during her visit. I'm shamelessly posting some of my favorites from Claire's 6 month photo shoot. Enjoy!

If You've Ever Been In Need of Christ's Mercy...

2010-04-10T09:30:00.001-04:00

...Then you will appreciate the Divine Mercy Chaplet, found here in beautiful sung form. Perhaps we could each take some time to pray for each other's intentions sometime over the weekend, and most especially that our families and marriages would be strengthened as we walk through our daily lives together.

For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world...

La Dolce Vita

2010-04-09T15:16:00.010-04:00

Dear friends, we are in week #2 in Rome. The kids are thriving on all the sunshine and good Italian food (there's my happy boy enjoying Nutella pizza outside St. Peter's Basilica), we are filled with grace from our daily visits to holy pilgrimage sites, and we are reveling in all the unique aspects of family life in Italy.

There are fewer comforts and conveniences, but people take life more slowly and seem to embrace it more here. Things like line-drying our wet clothes in the sun, eating the fresh fruit as we shop at the open air produce markets, and letting the kids cover public plazas with sidewalk chalk designs are welcomed. Things like rudeness and rushing, on the other hand, are not culturally acceptable.

The kids and I walk several miles a day to churches and playgrounds along the cobblestone streets with our double stroller and Ergo carrier. We meet my husband along the Tiber River in the early evening on his way home from researching at the Jesuit archives in the shadow of St. Peter's Basilica. The archives are only open 6 hours each weekday, so we are relishing the family time.

Learning to cook seasonal Italian cuisine (from signs and labels I can't translate) has been a challenging and wonderful way to break out of my cooking rut. Hazelnuts, sundried tomatoes, pesto, prosciutto, romano cheese and all those delicacies are abundant, commonplace and cheap.

Our hundreds-of-years-old charming fourth-floor walkup has wide open windows and a courtyard in the center, so we can hear cheerful noises of neighbors and passers by in the morning, noon, and night. There is a warmth and neighborliness and love of strangers, in a real Catholic spirit, that runs deeper than what I'm accustomed to in suburban America.

There's still no place like home sweet USA, but Italians have a beautiful way, Christ is present here, and in a sense Rome is always home after all.

Bonus

2010-04-09T08:45:00.004-04:00

We got some new patio furniture, which came with a free toddler bed.

Tom Sawyer Moment

2010-04-07T13:19:00.001-04:00

Neighbor children are now vacuuming my pool, because I made it look so fun! Suck up all those earth worms, kids!

Brain Teaser

2010-04-07T12:51:00.002-04:00

See if you can solve this one:

"Mommy, yesterday I go to swimming lessons tomorrow!"

What does this mean? Why, it means that today this child had swimming lessons! The yesterday and the tomorrow cancel each other out, you see, to make "today" the answer. My 2 1/2 year-old is so advanced in her reasoning skills that she talks in riddles :)

Maternity Taboo

2010-04-06T10:50:00.002-04:00

Top five phrases not to say to a pregnant lady:

1) "Are you carrying twins?"

2) "Boy, looks like you're carrying twins!"

3) "You're heavy with child."

4) "I don't remember you looking that big last time."

5) "Due any day now?" --This last phrase is really never a good one to say. There's no telling if, indeed, the woman is due tomorrow or two months from now. That's quite a gamble!

I've heard a few of these this go 'round. Have any others to add to the list? Red, I'm sure you've got one or two for us. Strangers usually make notoriously insensitive comments to poor Red and her big babies!! I think someone actually made comment #5 to her right around her 20-week mark!

poetry lessons

2010-04-05T11:09:00.002-04:00

Our family tradition is that the Easter leaves rhyming couplets telling each child where their basket is hidden in the house. It is a good warm up for the Easter Bunny, who will start his haiku season today. Well, as Charlotte Mason teaches us, exposure to great art inspires creativity, so last night a five year old composed this:

Gone, Sean, John,
Your hair is so blond,
You can find your basket,
In the kit-chun.

Also, the kids are hard at work trying to find a rhyme for toilet.

vintage

2010-04-05T11:07:00.000-04:00

Why I need a camera on my phone

2010-04-05T10:03:00.001-04:00

h/t to Jonathan for the photo

New Beginnings

2010-04-05T09:51:00.003-04:00

It's Easter!
It's Opening Day!
Hope springs eternal.

Happy Easter, Dear Readers!

2010-04-04T12:03:00.006-04:00

"...Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here; He has risen!..." ~Luke 24: 5-6

Jesus Christ is risen today, Alleluia!
Our triumphant holy day, Alleluia!
Who did once upon the cross, Alleluia!
Suffer to redeem our loss. Alleluia!

Hymns of praise then let us sing, Alleluia!
Unto Christ, our heavenly King, Alleluia!
Who endured the cross and grave, Alleluia!
Sinners to redeem and save. Alleluia!

But the pains which he endured, Alleluia!
Our salvation have procured, Alleluia!
Now above the sky he's King, Alleluia!

Where the angels ever sing. Alleluia!

Easter

2010-04-04T03:38:00.000-04:00

So adorable in the Easter morning sunlight, the serenity is written all over their sweet little innocent faces, ta ha haaa.

Adoramus Te

2010-04-02T07:39:00.006-04:00

Adoramus Te, Christe,

et benedicimus Tibi,

Quia per sanctam crucem

Tuam redemisti mundum.

We adore Thee, O Christ,

And we bless Thee,

Who by your Holy Cross

have redeemed the world.

Must Read

2010-04-02T06:00:00.000-04:00

I am sorry to interrupt your Good Friday, but this Peggy Noonan piece is the first response to the scandals, and reporting of scandals, in the Church that has made any sense at all, and I think it is a must read for all Catholics.

Penance

2010-03-31T22:50:00.003-04:00

"Do penance: bury your negligences, offenses, and sins in the deep pit dug by your humility. Thus does the farmer bury rotten fruit, dead twigs and fallen leaves at the foot of the tree that bore them. And what was unfruitful, even harmful, makes a real contribution to a new fertility.

Learn to draw from your falls a new impulse: from death, life."

~St. Josemaria Escriva, The Way, 211

I had to read this point a couple of times before the message really sunk in...

Holy Week Artwork

2010-03-31T14:11:00.007-04:00

I was looking for some beautiful images of Holy Week to share with our children and came across the website Joyful Heart's list with links to many, many beautiful images. I have not reviewed any of the other content on the site, but this list, which includes images of the Last Supper, Gethsemane, the Trial, the Crucifixion and the Pieta, was exactly what I was looking for. Not all the links work, but many can be looked up by artist/title at the Web Gallery of Art.

Under Water

2010-03-31T10:00:00.002-04:00

My kids have been sick, on and off, for the entire month of march. Not all of them, but one or two at a time, and not really sick, just sort of stay in your pajamas until 11:30 and ask for toast sick. They have also been mean, tired and bickering almost constantly, and there has been a major rain storm for several days each week. March has been a bear, and I am glad to see it go.

Random Thoughts, New Baby Edition :)

2010-03-29T09:00:00.000-04:00

Over the past couple of weeks, our family has been enjoying lots of quality time with our newest addition, little Caroline Rose. The older kids are having a great time playing with their baby sister, and we're all settling into the new routines and schedules of having a newborn in the house again! Here are some random thoughts that I've been having:

1) I really must keep a pitcher of lemonade or iced tea in the refrigerator. Here in Texas, visitors stop by unannounced to congratulate us and to bring meals, banana breads, and sweet little baby gifts. I think that this is entirely wonderful, especially since I am prone to loneliness after the birth of a baby, and feel incredibly blessed to have such wonderful neighbors and friends! But every time a visitor knocks on the door, I am wishing that I had a cold drink to offer them. My mother-in-law makes a delicious lemon iced tea, so I'll have to get the recipe from her and keep a pitcher in the fridge!

2) Going to the grocery store with a wailing infant has its perks. First of all, my trips are much shorter than usual since I don't have the luxury of browsing casually up and down the aisles. Second, I save money because I buy only the essentials. Lastly, I meet all sorts of friendly people who smile at me with pitying looks - when I was a first-time mom, those smiles bothered me because I was sure that people were secretly very annoyed with me for bringing a screaming newborn into the store. Now I know that most people don't really mind a crying baby (as long as it's not their own!), and that they understand because they have been in the same position themselves!

3) Taking the two older children to swim lessons is very difficult with a newborn. Inevitably, when it is time to change out of wet bathing suits and into dry clothes, all of the dressing rooms will be taken, the toddler will have a poopy diaper, and the newborn will have a blow-out poopy diaper. After changing diapers, Mommy won't have the time or energy to put on the toddler's clothes because the newborn will be screaming, so on the way home the toddler will be crying because she needs her pants and she is cold. Mommy also won't have any snacks or drinks, and the children will be so hungry that you would think they hadn't eaten in three days. The older children will be traumatized by baby's blood-curdling screams, and everyone will arrive at home in a bit of a state of shock.

4) So many people have been extremely generous in bringing us meals, and I wish that there was something that I could do (other than write a thank you note) to convey the depth of my gratitude. Any ideas??

Life is good, dear friends, and we are incredibly blessed to have baby Caroline at home with us! A blessed Holy Week to all of you!

Holy Week

2010-03-29T08:18:00.002-04:00

We heard a homily yesterday that reminded us that this should be a week set a part for all Christians. We have one last push of Lent, a little more time to carefully offer our sacrifices with love, to make some extra time for prayer and to contemplate the Passion. It is particularly special this year as it overlaps with Orthodox holy week and also with Passover, so around the world people are praying this week.

Danielle Bean linked to this video, Come to Jesus, which is putting me in a contemplative mood this morning.

The world around us will not stop, but it did not stop 2000 years ago in Jerusalem, either, so we have to make the time.

Down with Grass

2010-03-26T08:37:00.002-04:00

Ladies, Christmas may be 9 months away, but Easter is 9 days away and I have an urgent issue. What are your creative substitutes for Easter grass? I am NOT bringing that stuff into our home for another year. Last year my five-year-old daughter wanted to stuff it into ziploc bags, put pillow cases on them and use them for her animals. I am still finding pieces of the stuff. Does anyone have an attractive substitute?

Feast of the Annunciation

2010-03-25T13:04:00.003-04:00

Happy Feast of the Annunciation! This morning at mass, our priest gave a wonderful homily on the beauty of this feast day, reminding us that the Annunciation is one of the great feasts in the Church year. He gave all expectant and new mothers a blessing, as well as a St. Gerard medal and a carnation. Fr. Troy also mixed in some humor, beginning his homily by saying, "You know what today is, right? Today, you officially have 9 months left to do your Christmas shopping." His point, of course, was that we celebrate the Annunciation today because we will celebrate Jesus' birth 9 months from today.

Below I have posted an excerpt from John Paul II's homily on the Feast of the Annunciation in 2000, which he gave from the town of Nazareth in Israel. His words, as always, are an inspiration and a great encouragement to me, and as I was reading this document I couldn't help but wonder, "What might God be asking me to do that has never been done before? What might he be asking of me and my family, and how am I responding?"

4. Like Abraham, Mary is asked to say yes to something that has never happened before. Sarah is the first in the line of barren wives in the Bible who conceive by God's power, just as Elizabeth will be the last. Gabriel speaks of Elizabeth to reassure Mary: "Know this too: your kinswoman Elizabeth has, in her old age, herself conceived a son" (Lk 1:36).

Like Abraham, Mary must walk through darkness, in which she must simply trust the One who called her. Yet even her question, "How can this come about?", suggests that Mary is ready to say yes, despite her fears and uncertainties. Mary asks not whether the promise is possible, but only how it will be fulfilled. It comes as no surprise, therefore, when finally she utters her fiat: "I am the handmaid of the Lord. Let what you have said be done to me" (Lk 1:38). With these words, Mary shows herself the true daughter of Abraham, and she becomes the Mother of Christ and Mother of all believers.

Raising Real Men

2010-03-23T14:51:00.006-04:00

The day I received an email from Melanie and Hal Young was probably like any other day with 3 young boys. Except that the commonplace falls, bumps and bruises of this particular day necessitated our first ER visit (I know, not too bad in 9 combined years of little boyhood).

"Would you be interested in a review copy of Raising Real Men?" They asked.

Still shaking from our first ER visit, I laughed at reading the subtitle, Surviving, Teaching and Appreciating Boys, (at the moment, I'd have taken one out of three) and answered an emphatic, "Yes!" while internally squeaking, "Help!"

And I'm glad I did. Raising Real Men is an enjoyable read. Free from fad/pop psychology theories, this book encourages parents to help boys become men as God (not modern culture) intended with substantial scriptural (NKJV) basis.

With a great sense of humor, the Young's (who have 6 boys and 2 girls) point out the myriad ways that the innate characteristics of young boys (boundless energy, destructiveness, risk-taking, etc.), properly developed and trained rather than stripped away, can lead to strong, responsible, faithful leaders. I particularly enjoyed the discussion of role models and heroes (with Jesus being the ultimate hero) at a time when society's portrayal of men seems to be either feminized or power-hungry.

Sometimes life with boys is pretty overwhelming and the temptation to just get through the day is very appealing. The Young's encourage parents to fight against this writing, "Our focus must be on leading our sons into godly manhood, not just trying to manage them to make our lives more convenient and pleasant," noting the truth that, "when the boys are quiet, someone better check on them."

Acknowledging that supernatural life is a grace from God, the Young's encourage parents to pursue their own life of prayer (and, I would add, the Sacraments) and relationship with Christ as the best way to draw our children to Our Lord. This example, even in its imperfections, is indispensable.

Our Incrediboys are still quite young, so I don't know yet how we will handle some of the issues tackled in later chapters including money, college and courtship, though I appreciated reading those chapters as well.

There is a great chapter on homeschooling boys packed with tons of practical advice (which also reminds me that I wanted to read Leonard Sax's Boys Adrift). Some ideas are things that we have already figured out on our own...our oldest runs laps in the yard when we sense he's getting antsy. He also does all of his writing work standing up. He just can't sit in a chair (literally, he falls out on a daily basis!). One of several reasons that a traditional classroom would be such a challenge for him and many other boys.

Written from a Christian perspective, there is much good advice, friendly humor and biblical wisdom in this book. Raising Real Men (free shipping on their website) is a real and practical book from real, practical parents who know that life with boys is messy and noisy as well as joyful and inspiring.

Hand over the wash rag

2010-03-21T20:25:00.003-04:00

My two year old son Gus teaches me a lot about life. The little guy has some sensory integration issues, and the more he feels in control, the better his reaction to uncomfortable stimuli. We can sometimes avoid tears and tantrums by making him feel in control. For example, after he finishes a meal Gus hates to have his face wiped. If I give him a warm rag, and allow him to wipe his own face, he does not cry or complain. If, however, I take the warm rag and very gently rub his face to make it clean, he protests vehemently.

The trouble is, I can't always allow him to wipe his own face. He does a lousy job, and it takes forever. Most of the time, I have to help him.

When I was on retreat last weekend, I realized that, like Gus, I am happiest with my life when I feel I'm in control. I get into a groove, run from one activity to the next, and so long as things go somewhat according to plan, I feel great about my day. For much of my life, God has handed me the washcloth and allowed me to wipe my own face, and at times things seemed so good that I even lost sight of His hand.

But things changed about five months ago. With a fourth baby, I can no longer pretend that I have control over my life. On a good day, we are just 5 minutes away from total chaos.

God has used this very challenging time to teach me about surrender. My sense of control was an illusion. My face is too dirty to clean myself. But fortunately, there's Someone who can help, and I'm slowly learning to hand over the wash rag.

Please read what she said...

2010-03-19T21:39:00.005-04:00

There is an important conversation about Postpartum Depression going on over at Faith and Family. I have not listened to the podcast yet, but I did read Kate Wicker's post and I really agree with her advice. I have had postpartum depression to various degrees after every single pregnancy, so I am beginning to feel like a bit of an expert on the matter. My wise OB offered prozac, but encouraged sleep, diet, exercise and B-vitamins first, and I find that if I am able to get those things, I am able to ride out the rough times without needing medication.

For me, it really has a lot to do with sleep, so having lots of help at night from my husband is crucial (he gets the baby and changes diapers so that I can nurse and we do not co-sleep because I cannot sleep with a baby in my bed and I become severely depressed when sleep deprived), and I sleep as much as I can during the day in the early stages. I also suffer from insomnia, so a doula once advised me to start a bedtime routine while I was pregnant to help to train myself to sleep -- stay away from TV at night, have some soothing tea, etc.

Getting outside helps a lot, though I seem to develop a fear of being in public when I have just had a baby, so a quite walk around the neighborhood is a good first step. It is important to me to have time alone to bond with the baby, now that I have so many other children, so I have developed a habit of going to my room to nurse alone for at least one or two daytime feedings. It is also important to have time totally alone, even just a few uninterrupted moments to shower, phone a friend, or take a walk, alone.

I also have to protect myself emotionally, so I try not to read anything really sad or draining. This meant that I could not read my brother's book while I was post-partum -- it chronicled a difficult time in the life of our family, and I knew that I was just not emotionally strong enough to go back there. My husband knows that sad news stories are not to be repeated, etc. It is pathetic to feel so fragile, but for the good of myself and my family I need to be very gentle for a while.

The greatest change for me came through advice from my spiritual director and that was to take my older children into my confidence. I have told them that my emotions get wacky after I have a baby and that I am trying hard to control them. They know to steer clear or offer to help when I am starting to seem tense. At first I felt guilty about this, almost as though it was abusive, but now I realize that I am giving them a wonderful life skill -- if they have families of their own, they will live with real, complicated emotion and it is important to know how to respond to that. There are moments when a hug from a two year old can be all you need in the world, but also times when being able to ask your six year old to take the two year old to play for a few moments so that you can shower without an audience can save your sanity. If, after wards, you thank that six year old for her help, she has learned that she can really contribute to the well being of the family.

I have also learned that I have second bout of hormonal craziness when my babies wean, which mimics or extends PPD.

They say that a little bit of "baby blues" are normal, but a nurse once told me that a key sign of trouble is when things are not getting a little bit better everyday. This is really helpful advice for a new mom in general because it applies to pediatric health as well -- how do you tell if your baby needs to see a doctor for his runny nose? If it is not getting better. The same is true for that funky looking cut your two year old got at the playground -- not getting better? Time to call the doctor.

I've shared a bit more here than I intended to, it is hard for me to hold back on this subject, but I am closing comments because this is a bit too raw for me, but if you have questions or stories to share please do so over at Faith and Family Live.

What My Boys Are Teaching Me These Days...

2010-03-19T14:22:00.004-04:00

-band-aids are a necessary item at all times (even in a mom's purse!) and you can never have too many

-cereal is a food group

-the couch, and any part of it, can be instantly turned into a jungle gym

-worms are the coolest and holding them is a MUST

-tables are for standing and sitting

-toilets are optional, so are clothes

-balls are household decor

-rough play can be a way to show affection

-hair makes a great napkin

-their love is enough to make a mama's heart feel like its going to explode!! I love my boys!! Can't wait for my little girl!!

The Greatest Gift

2010-03-17T23:07:00.004-04:00

Dear readers ~ I wrote the following post for our church's mothers' group (St. Anne Society), and thought that I would share it with you all as well...Enjoy!

Like many of the members of the St. Anne's Society, I spent my childhood moving from one place to another, and I am also a transplant to Texas. Our closest family members (my parents) live over 800 miles away, and we have family living thousands of miles across the Atlantic Ocean in Germany and (soon!) in Spain. As I was growing up, my immediate family – my parents and my younger sister – was the only segment on both my mother’s and my father’s side that didn’t live in the same town that we had been born in. We were always traveling to see our extended family for holidays, and never spent Christmas morning or Easter in our own home. By the time that I entered high school I had attended eight different schools in three different countries, and these had been a mixture of public, Catholic, and international schools. As a child, this was a great adventure and I have great memories of all of the places that my family visited and explored. I feel richly blessed to have had all of the experiences that I did growing up, and I know that I would not be the same person today if it had not been for all of these experiences.

However, not every child that moves around a lot has the same positive experience as I did. Recent studies indicate that children who move often are more at risk for experiencing depression, anxiety, and suicidal behavior than their peers who have not moved. So what did my parents do differently that made my experience so positive? I truly believe that the main factor in my ability to transition from one place to the next was that my parents kept certain things constant, and they especially made a point of keeping our family’s faith life a priority no matter where we lived. I remember living in Istanbul, Turkey, where there is not exactly a high concentration of Catholic Christians, and the Catholic churches were not abundant. My parents drove us for almost an hour to the closest Catholic church every Sunday morning, and I can still remember many things about this particular church: The crowded streets outside, the ceilings inside that seemed to reach to the heavens, the little room under the main church where my sister and I attended religious education. It would have been easier for my parents to stay home and avoid the risk of driving without their weekday driver on the crowded and treacherous streets of Turkey, but they knew the importance of attending Mass as a family, no matter how inconvenient.

As an adult, I remember many of the places that I have visited or lived most poignantly by the churches that I attended while I was there. I spent a summer working long hours at a hospital in Freiburg, Germany, and was very lonely and challenged for much of my time there. I probably would have gotten on the first available flight back home had it not been for the opportunity that I had to attend daily Mass – my lifeline for those two months! – and a compassionate nun who took me under her wing and guided me through the problems that I was facing. My husband and I spent our honeymoon in Vancouver, Canada, and again had the opportunity to attend daily mass at a local church. We befriended an older couple throughout our week in Vancouver, and on our last day they gave us a beautiful “Marriage Prayer” plaque that still hangs on the wall of our bedroom. Some of my most treasured memories from college are the times spent in prayer with my fellow classmates in the university chapel. I attended a secular university with an amazing Catholic community, and a series of felicitous events in the first weeks of my freshman year truly turned my life around and pointed me back in the right direction. I have forgotten much of the material that I learned in my university courses, but I will never forget the booming voice of Fr. Tom during his passionate homilies or the heads of my classmates bowed in fervent prayer in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel.

As I think about what qualities I would hope to instill in my children – self-discipline, honesty, respectfulness, kindness, etc. – I realize that all of these flow naturally out of a deep and abiding sense of connection to our faith. Our Lord is “the way, the truth, and the life,” (John 14:6) and if we can help our children to foster a true friendship with Christ, we are giving them a great gift. One of the ways that we can help our children to grow in friendship with Christ is to bring them to Mass, to the feet of Jesus Himself, to pray and to worship and to rest. No matter what challenges life may bring for our children, God will never change His promises nor will he leave them. And no matter where life may take them, they may always claim the Church as their home, their refuge, and their universal family.

God is our refuge and our strength, an ever-present help in times of trouble. ~Psalm 46:1

May God bless all of you and your families!

Quick Thoughts for St. Pats

2010-03-17T06:00:00.003-04:00

There was a time when living the liturgical year was the primary theme for my home school lesson plans. We had a magical year, our first year of homeschooling, when I was happy and flexible and it was all just one great preschool jumble of crafts, living books and time outdoors. Those days have passed, and I find that these days my desire to keep the older ones "on track" and the littlest ones from "eating glitter," we have not given as much attention to the minor feasts and holidays.

Book baskets help a lot, at least that one area of the curriculum is ready made, and I do still believe firmly that read aloud time counts as "real school" for anyone, at any age, but cooking and crafting and playing are important, too, and feasts can be a good excuse to fit these in. Plus, my mom often let me CUT SCHOOL to go to the St. Patrick's Day parade in New York, so I am sure that she would approve of our laying aside lessons to celebrate.

I have given the children a dispensation from their lenten sacrifice of sweets because back on Valentines Day, Peter suggested that if we used yellow m&ms, our dots would make great "pots of gold". We will be baking those, along with soda bread, which we will eat with Irish butter, which is sweet and amazing and makes you wonder what Americans are doing wrong when making butter.

I have printed out these simple shamrocks to color as we talk about the Holy Trinity, and we may even label the petals for the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We will review the sign of the cross, why we pray it and what makes it so powerful.

I have also looked at this simple rainbow craft which may appeal to my older children. With the little ones, we will color rainbows and talk about the colors, and work on staying in the lines, which is always a struggle for 5 year old boys in our house. I may also present the option of watercolor rainbows just to mix things up.

Lastly, for copywork and memorization, we will be using this verse from the prayer known as St. Patrick's Breastplate

Christ be with me, Christ within me,
Christ behind me, Christ before me,
Christ beside me, Christ to win me,
Christ to comfort and restore me.
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ in quiet, Christ in danger,
Christ in hearts of all that love me,
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.

I may explain the title of the prayer by showing the picture above, which fits in nicely with our current Medieval studies. Just think of the power of these words as your armor!

And of course, I can't leave out the titles in our book basket this week: Jamie O'Rourke and the Big Potato by Tomie de Paola and St. Patrick's Day by Gail Gibbons, and Brigid's Cloak.

We do not own the CCC video St. Patrick, Brave Shepherd of the Emerald Isle, but JM does, and my kids have seen it and declare that it is their favorite of the series, so I wish I had thought to order it sooner.

One more thing to convince myself that this is ~~really school~~ good for our family, we are studying Europe (working through CHC 2nd grade continent studies and using this as our writing prompt) and so we will find Ireland on the map and add it to the list of countries that we have "visited," reading a bit about Ireland and then writing a three point paragraph.

Gosh, isn't it amazing that I started out thinking that we would be skipping school and it turns out to be quite easy to include many of our subjects while working around this theme? I think that the baking can even count as math! Or, I could easily make some number cards and have the little kids put the correct number of shamrock stickers on to the cards, and then the big kids could use those cards, plus and operations card, to practice math facts! Oh, and I just found this Coloring Grid!

Plus, when we talk about "pots of gold" we will refer to Matthew 6:20, "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in or steal;" and maybe even get into the transition from folk tales/myths/legends to Christianity in early Europe.

I love homeschooling! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

A Mother's Prayer

2010-03-16T14:33:00.003-04:00

Help me give my children the best – not of trappings or toys, but of myself, cherishing them on good days and bad, theirs and mine.

Teach me to accept them for who they are, not for what they do; to listen to what they say, if only so they will listen to me; to encourage their goals, not mine; and please, let me laugh with them and be silly.

Let me give them a home where respect is the cornerstone, integrity the foundation, and there is enough happiness to raise the roof.

Nor is that all.

May I give them the courage to be true to themselves; the independence to take care of themselves and the faith to believe in a power much greater than their own.

See that I discipline my children without demeaning them, demand good manners without forgetting my own, and let them know they have limitless love, no matter what they do.

Let me feed them properly, clothe them adequately and have enough to give them small allowances – not for the work they do but the pleasure they bring – and let me be moderate in all these things, so the joy of getting will help them discover the joy of giving.

See that their responsibilities are real but not burdensome, that my expectations are high but not overwhelming, and that my thanks and praise are thoughtful and given when they’re due.

Help me teach them that excellence is work’s real reward, and not the glory it brings. But when it comes – and it will – let me revel in each honor, however small, without once pretending that it’s mine; my children are glories enough.

Above all, let me ground these children so well that I can dare to let them go. And may they be so blessed.

-Marguerite Kelly

In the "should have known better" department

2010-03-11T10:08:00.003-05:00

Leo got a "baby einstein" video for Christmas from an uncle. He asked to watch it this morning, so I put it on, thinking it would keep him out of trouble while we did school work. He watched for about a minute, and is currently back at work removing all the q tips from the box in the cabinet below my bathroom sink, while four school age children have abandoned lessons and sit slack jawed in front of a screen rotating pretty colors.

Public Service Announcement

2010-03-10T21:05:00.002-05:00

Just back from my run, and I noticed that several houses still have Christmas wreaths on the door, slowly turning brown and confusing the crocuses which are popping up on the lawns. My wreaths are off the door, so you cannot see them from the street, but my dirty secret is that they are still lying on the ground beside the door! So, in this third week of Lent, join me now in throwing away your Christmas wreath. Get up right now and do it, the computer will still be here when you get back.

If you are self-righteously laughing at all of us slackers, I challenge you to go take a look around your house. There is one thing that has been sitting somewhere so long that you don't even see it anymore, a news clipping on your fridge that has yellowed, a pair of shoes kicked into a corner long ago, the pile of stuff that has accumulated on top of your dryer. Be thankful that you put your wreaths away long ago and instead go tackle that one thing!

Porn Shop in your back seat?

2010-03-09T10:51:00.003-05:00

So, I have been spending some time on FaceBook after realizing that my kids already have friends who are using facebook daily. While I am not ready for my kids to use it, I think that if I get to know it a bit, I will have a sense of the possibilities and pitfalls of this social media thing. We have some helpful computer rules in place already, my kids only visit one website that I trust and play games there, and they are instructed not to give out any information without talking to me first. This article points out some of the issues with other forms of technology which are now interactive -- your phone, Nintendo DS, etc, which can go online and get to sites you do not trust. The best advice I read here was to TALK TO YOUR KIDS! We cannot guess what new threats/temptations are on the horizon, but if we keep an open dialogue about the benefits and dangers of technology then we can hope that they will make better choices. I recommend reading this now so that you can be thinking about these issues even if it seems like many years before junior will have a cell phone or computer of his own.

HT: a facebook post by Fr. CJ McCloskey

We are called to be stewards in the garden

2010-03-07T22:17:00.004-05:00

For your meatless fridays this Lent, consider these bean soup mixes. While they cost more than the dry beans at the grocery store, you will be supporting something worthwhile, calling to mind the fig tree in this Sunday's gospel who just needed one more chance, patience, nourishment and careful tending to bear fruit. When we go without meat or eat lower on the food chain, we are stewards of the environment, and through this project we can be stewards of one another as well.

"Contraception and NFP: What's the Difference?"

2010-03-06T19:59:00.003-05:00

For a refresher on the difference between contraception and NFP, click here to view the full text of this excellent document put together by my lovely, recently-married, hoping-to-be-a-mom, passionately-Catholic, darn smart friend. Thanks, Mrs. C., for keeping my brain sharp on this fundamental truth.

Grace in the Laundry Pile

2010-03-05T08:47:00.005-05:00

As a new Lenten discipline, I've been wrangling my laundry crisis. It is no secret laundry and I have been in a dual for some time and I thought it a necessary sacrifice for Jesus this season. Leading up to this point, I've had good weeks and good days, only to be followed by periods of neglect and inactivity that have all resulted in chaos. For me, home chaos is the devil's tool, which then breeds general sloth, apathy, and the like. It is not prayerful or even mindful of Christ; instead, it discourages my daily walk.

So thankfully, it seems the fruits of sacrifice have been GRACE and then some more grace. I'm happy to say: God is good... even with laundry. His mercy is always there and always available, we just have to meet him halfway. We have to put in some sweat to make it happen.

I started with a few simple laundry rules:

1) Each member of the family has a day(s) for laundry

e.g. Baby J--Monday, Big boys: Tuesday, Thursday (Friday, if necessary); Mom and Dad: Wednesday; Sheets, towels: weekend. I posted the schedule in the laundry room to keep me honest.

2) Clean laundry must be folded upon removal from dryer. A basket may be used to put away clean laundry; otherwise, folded clothes go directly to drawers.

3) The day's laundry task is started at wake-up and finished by bedtime.

Simple, eh? It seems like the "sweat" God is asking of me is really no sweat at all. From "sacrifice" has come an incredible clarity. My husband can't believe it. Gone are the days seeing a mountain of clean clothes in the hallway. Gone are the complaints from an overtired wife who can't get it all done. Gone is the sloth that would encroach and threaten to leave us with no underwear for days.

Present is Grace. Grace in the laundry pile.

Alleluia.

Thank you, God.

Habla español?

2010-03-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

I am somewhat embarrassed to admit that my 4 year old knows more Spanish than I do. He comes home from Spanish class and tries to teach me the days of the week, names for articles of clothing, etc., but I am a slower learner than he is. I have wanted to learn Spanish since moving to Texas 5 years ago. Has anyone had any experience attempting to learn a foreign language alongside their children? I vaguely remember the Muzzy videos and figure if I can handle the BBC's Scottish goat giving typing lessons I might be able to handle a giant green monster teaching me Spanish.

Rosetta Stone is also highly recommended and I noticed that they have a homeschool program, but am unsure if it would be doable for a 4 year old as well as mom (and it's really expensive).

Would love any advice!

When Oma* Comes to Stay...

2010-03-02T13:25:00.005-05:00

...All sorts of wonderful things begin to happen! For example:

~Exotic and delicious foods suddenly appear in your refrigerator, such as hearts of palm, olive tapenade, sun dried tomatoes, and jalepeno jelly. We have been eating well for the past week :)

~Mommy gets a chance to feed baby in peace while Oma plays with the older kids. Next week I know that I'll be nursing Caroline in one arm while simultaneously making peanut butter sandwiches for Christopher's lunch with the other arm and calmly asking my two-year-old to please put the cookies back and come down from the counter!

~Your children will eat more than their fair share of donuts, fruit snacks, and homemade chocolate chip cookies, but the benefits of this unhealthy eating will far outweigh the negatives.

~The ratio of adult to child will be a blessed 1:1 for at least a few days. Soon we will be outnumbered :)

My mother has been here to help us with new baby Caroline, and we are relishing every moment! Caroline was born on February 24th at 10:39 p.m., on the eve of her scheduled induction. She weighed in at 7 lbs., 13 oz., and she is doing great so far! This is one of my favorite pictures of the big kids with Caroline - they were "reading" to her on Christopher's bed :) Thank you to everyone for your fervent prayers, we are truly blessed!

*Oma and Opa are what we call my parents (German for Grandma and Grandpa!)

Potty Talk

2010-03-01T11:35:00.005-05:00

Even with 4 children successfully wearing undies night and day, I consider myself a potty training rookie. My first was trained mostly by Grandma, in the summer, teaching him to pee on trees. My next was trained in one day by our cleaning lady. That girl trained her little sister, also in a day, using the "strawberry shortcake underwear and m&m rewards" method. Training the twin brother was a total disaster and he was in diapers until he was 4! He decided to make a power play out of it, and I lost, big time, he trained when he felt like it, pretty much on his own.

So, here I am again with a two year old on my hands. He takes off his diaper when he naps and in the morning, no matter what he is wearing, so I have been having to wash his sheets twice a day. He follows his big sisters into the bathroom and has even had a few successful visits to the potty chair before his bath. He can take off his pants by himself, and he puts his own diaper in the trash. He follows one step commands with about 80% obedience, and he is fairly verbal. For all of these reasons, I think he might be ready to begin training, but I do NOT want this to be a 2 year start and stop process.

What are your thoughts, ladies -- have you had success with training two year old boys? Should I just wait a year and do it the easy way when he is 3? How much discipline will it take on my part to take him to the potty every hour? Since I am already changing one in diapers, and they wear the same size, would it be easier to just keep him in diapers? If so, how do I keep his diaper on for the nap? Duct tape? And, how do I go about training, do I just let him run around naked for a while and put him on the potty every so often, hoping it works? Do you think this slot machine potty would help?

You're Excused

2010-02-25T22:10:00.004-05:00

Gone are the days of “my dog ate my homework” and other lame excuses. As a mother with young children, I find that my excuses in everyday situations are thoroughly believable because they are way too far-fetched to have been made up:

“I’m sorry we can’t return the Transformer toy that you let us borrow yesterday. Spiderman apparently trapped him in a web (the chain that opens and closes our radiator vent) and there’s no way to untangle him. As soon as we can get our hands on a pair of wire cutters, we’ll return Optimus Prime.”

“I’m sorry I don’t have dressing to go with the salad I brought. I forgot that my kids had reappropriated this cruet as a jar for collecting nature specimens. I brought it, thinking it contained homemade Italian dressing, but now I see that it’s filled with pond water, gravel and drowned ants.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t answer or return your phone calls yesterday. My toddler changed the ringer to “silent”, set the phone’s alarm clock, and then hid the phone (after downloading $19 worth of new ringtones). We finally found it in the oven at 3:28am when the alarm went off.”

“I’m sorry I was in the bathroom for the first 10 minutes after your family arrived for dinner (after you drove two hours to get here). I dashed in to comb my hair as you knocked, but the comb got stuck in some syrup that I guess my daughter massaged in my head at breakfast. It took me a while to find the eyebrow scissors in the bathroom and cut the comb out of my hair.”

“I’m sorry we’re late. I allotted 45 minutes to get three children dressed and out the door, but (fill in the blank with endless possibilities; here are a couple):

(a) Everyone was dressed, jacketed, and ready to go on time, and I was helping my three year old learn to zip his own jacket. In the blink of an eye, my toddler disappeared into the bathroom, took her hairbow out, and flushed it down the toilet. Cleaning up the overflow set us back a few.

(b) It wasn’t the digging the car out of twenty-something inches of snow that delayed us. Actually, my four year old daughter stepped into a mound of loose ice and cracked her Cinderella dress-up heels into several pieces. She made a valiant attempt to offer up the cold and the humiliating wardrobe malfunction for the needs of poor children, but a mile down the road her sweet sobs from the backseat compelled me to turn the car around and go home for her backup pair of Sleeping Beauty heels and dry socks.”

Let The Guessing Begin!

2010-02-24T07:27:00.004-05:00

As our dear Kat shared in her last post, the newest Building Cathedral cherub should be making his/her appearance no later than tomorrow! What joy!

We already know the baby's relative due date, but can surely have a little fun guessing the baby's:

1) GENDER--Kat has one of each, so the odds are truly 50/50!;

2) WEIGHT--Kat's C was 7lbs. 13oz. and little M was 8lbs. 8oz.;

and 3) TIME of arrival--she's had previous babies in both the morning and afternoon.

So here are my predictions--1) Boy, 2) 8lbs. 3oz., 3) 4:30pm

Many prayers and blessings to Kat for a beautiful, healthy, and joy-filled delivery. We can't wait to meet our newest BC bundle!

Uber-Nesting

2010-02-22T08:49:00.002-05:00

Amazingly, our family is getting ready to welcome our next little bundle of joy any day now, and by Thursday for sure. As always, the date has crept up on us and we are just so excited to finally meet this little one! Our 5 1/2 year-old can't wait to meet his little brother or sister, although the idea of an induction is perplexing to him, and our 2 year-old is very clingy and seems to know that her life is about to change big-time!

Since I was prepared for the possibility that this baby was going to arrive early, I have felt like the past week has been my "bonus" time to do some extra organizing around the house. We have washed couch covers, reorganized closets, rearranged furniture, and done laundry. Oh, and did I mention that we decided to do a last-minute bathroom renovation and some painting? It all turned out beautifully, but also turned our lives a bit upside-down for the past 3 weeks. Phew, glad that's done! So yes, I suppose you could say that this time around, I have gone into super-nesting mode :)

How about you? Have you tackled all sorts of projects right before the birth of your children? I must confess that I'm not usually the nesting type, so this has all come as a bit of a surprise to my husband and me! The urge has been overwhelming, sometimes even more overwhelming than the urge to lie down and take a nap :)

May God bless all of you as we begin our first full week of Lent. As a priest reminded us over the weekend, let us strive not for a perfect Lent, which we know to be unachievable, but for an honest, committed, prayerful Lent. Let us go back to the basics - prayer, fasting, and almsgiving - and let us encourage one another in our daily walk with Christ. Let us ask Mary, the Mother of Our Lord and the one who knew him most intimately on this earth, to help us know her son more fully during these 40 days.

Reluctantly, Joyfully Lent

2010-02-19T13:32:00.002-05:00

As Fat Tuesday drew to a close this year, I could not deny the overwhelming sense of gloom I felt. The next day was Ash Wednesday and with it meant forty long days of suffering. Really long ones.

It hasn't been easy living through Ash Wednesdays and Lenten seasons of the past. During my first as a mother, my child was 4 days old and a month premature. We had just been delivered the glowing "suitcase" for his jaundice and were required to keep him in it 24 hours-a-day. My milk had just come in and I was an emotional basket case. I can recall collapsing into my husband as he returned home from work and breaking down into tears at the overwhelming task of parenting. It seemed like suffering was something we were already tackling in life, let alone Lent.

Other seasons of Lent were spent in Indiana, the world's grayest, snowiest, coldest, most dismal place to live through the months of February and March. I remember feeling about as cold and depressed as ever and discussing these feelings with my dear friend, Catherine, who was also observing the season. We were cold, spent mothers and we were ready for Easter.

So with this year returned these old feelings of the past. Perhaps its because as a mother, I feel that much of my daily living already involves sacrifice on many levels. Perhaps it is because I am a weak individual, which I am. Whatever the reason, I dread Lent. "Haven't you asked enough of me, my Lord?" I ask.

His response: "I want more."

I trudged forward through Ash Wednesday and made it through the day with my sanity in tact and my constitution resolute. Day two brought even more reassurance as my husband and I finished a delicious dinner followed by time spent together talking (the eye to eye kind), without distractions on the couch. We prayed and went to bed early.

Day three has been a continuation of this goodness--a fresh, rested wake-up, a new couple's devotional purchased for my husband and I to start tonight, quiet prayer time. I am surprised to be struck so early by my usual Lenten realization: when God asks me to sacrifice, the fruit of depravity is always much greater and more glorious than I ever imagined. Red and I discussed this the other day, reasoning that the first week of Lent is always the hardest and most dismal. After a few weeks of routined sacrifice, we become used to our newer way of life and begin realizing the grace in it that abounds.

Because there is grace and joy and happiness in Lent. We just have to be patient and wait and He will find us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be a healing for your flesh and a refreshment for your body." Proverbs 3:5-7

Ashes... Get Your Ashes...

2010-02-17T21:40:00.000-05:00

A MOST blessed Ash Wednesday to you!

Have you observed the phenomenally high attendance at Ash Wednesday Mass? It blows me away every single year. This morning, the pews were packed at the 8am Mass, in a parish that echoes with empty pews on Sundays. This afternoon at the noon Mass (when I was getting Bella from school), the same church parking lot was a lawless traffic jam, incapable of accommodating all the mass-goers.

It's not only the sheer number of attendees that catches my eye; it's the demographic. There is no other Mass all year with such a high turnout of young single adults, coming to Mass alone (not with their parents like perhaps at Christmas), wearing everything from business suits to grungy workout clothes to scrubs.

They come to get their ashes.

Some come ONLY to get their ashes. In the survival-of-the-fittest parking lot today during noon Mass, there was a large exodus of people halfway through Mass, leaving with ashes on their foreheads but before the Liturgy of the Eucharist had begun.

It's beautiful, the way they come in droves on Ash Wednesday to be reminded that "you are dust, and to dust you shall return", or to "Turn away from sin, and be faithful to the Gospel."

It's also beautiful, this desire by SO MANY MORE than usual to be visibly identifiable as a Catholic for one day, wearing the ashes on the forehead.

How do you explain this? What is so compelling about the message of Ash Wednesday? Especially when we live in a culture that is obsessed with ignoring the reality of sin and the inevitability of death.

Lenten Beginnings

2010-02-17T13:40:00.005-05:00

Last year we added the Jesus Tree to our Lenten family activities and greatly enjoyed it. Having daily lessons on Christ and his life very beautifully added to the season and made it more meaningful for our young children. Might I say, this project is not for the weary! The initial work is a good bit of effort--a little sacrifice for your Lenten journey. Every week I would set out to make that week's ornaments and find myself behind and rushing to make the ornament right up to the lesson. Now that I have a year under my belt, though, everything is made and we are ready to go with greater ease. The time invested is well worth it.

This site offers you all the materials for making the tree, patterns, scripture, etc. If only they'd make the ornaments for you! $21 is still a great price for having someone else gather your materials and deliver them to your front door.

And it's never too late to start. You could begin with the lessons and add the tree and ornaments later. It might be just what your family is looking for to spruce up this holy season of Lent. Many blessings.