Twice in the last week people asked me if Incredibaby was sleeping through the night. I laughed casually and said, "Oh, no," as if it was silly to think that I could possibly have a full night of sleep.
Then I laughed out loud at myself. After our first child was born, I wallowed in self-pity as to the extent of my sleep deprivation. I would call one of the other builders, who would commiserate with me about the gravity of the situation.
Now, I sincerely enjoy the quietness of nighttime feedings. I enjoy rocking my sweet baby in the dark surrounded by silence. I think it is the quietness that I am enjoying more. I love silence. But with three little boys, silence is in short supply. And if it is momentarily silent, it is usually a bad sign. Someone is going to be in trouble for something, which will lead to not silence once again.
At night it is silent. I can pray or think or not think. And I can be silent and I can listen to silence. I can feel my baby's head grow heavier as he drifts back off to sleep. I can rock him uninterrupted by the urgent needs of two other toddlers. I am no longer desperate for these days to be over...for my baby to sleep through the night. I relish this time we have together.
Now, when asked how I'm sleeping, I think I'll say that, thanks be to God, I am sleeping like a baby - my baby.