Twice in the last week people asked me if Incredibaby was sleeping through the night. I laughed casually and said, "Oh, no," as if it was silly to think that I could possibly have a full night of sleep.Then I laughed out loud at myself. After our first child was born, I wallowed in self-pity as to the extent of my sleep deprivation. I would call one of the other builders, who would commiserate with me about the gravity of the situation.
Now, I sincerely enjoy the quietness of nighttime feedings. I enjoy rocking my sweet baby in the dark surrounded by silence. I think it is the quietness that I am enjoying more. I love silence. But with three little boys, silence is in short supply. And if it is momentarily silent, it is usually a bad sign. Someone is going to be in trouble for something, which will lead to not silence once again.
At night it is silent. I can pray or think or not think. And I can be silent and I can listen to silence. I can feel my baby's head grow heavier as he drifts back off to sleep. I can rock him uninterrupted by the urgent needs of two other toddlers. I am no longer desperate for these days to be over...for my baby to sleep through the night. I relish this time we have together.
Now, when asked how I'm sleeping, I think I'll say that, thanks be to God, I am sleeping like a baby - my baby.
6 comments:
Good for you for finding reasons to be thankful for what you are doing, but I have to say that I never could manage my days when I didn't have good nights.
Related, though, I try not to mind some minor illnesses, because when they are sick even bigger kids want to snuggle with mom.
Tex, beautifully said, I totally agree with you with respect to the 11pm feeding (since I haven't gone to bed yet at that time). I was just thinking last night about how much I enjoy Angelina's 11pm feeding, and how I have NO desire to drop it, whereas I was obsessed with dropping Bella's night feedings as quickly as possible. Both so I could have the option to sleep, and also so I could respond "yes" when people asked those sleeping through the night questions! I love nursing a baby right before going to bed myself, it really is a special uninterrupted time, the prolonged sweet goodnight that I didn't have the time to give her when I put her to bed in the evening as the other kids were running around wet and naked after baths.
But as for the 1am, 3am, and 6am feedings, no thanks : ) Falling back asleep is particularly difficult for me so those really take their toll. I have been sleeping 6-7 hour stretches lately, for the first time since Bean was born 2.5 years ago, and I finally remember what it's like to be happy!
This is a nice sentiment, and it's one I'm going to try to think of in two months, when I am up with my third. With my second, I was just happy that I had some time to look at tv programs that I had dvr'd! I am also not a person who does well on so little sleep, but I'm going to try to appreciate the quiet time spent with my newborn once he or she is here.
I should add a strong caveat...that Incredibaby is waking up only 1-2 times a night. This means that I usually have 6 uninterrupted hours of sleep early on. I was thinking about this b/c I was so surprised to hear my own response to being asked about Incredibaby's sleep and was thinking about why. It's just so peaceful. I just had to write it down to reread when this is NOT how I feel!
And I am still NOT a morning person when I have to get up for the day. Mr. Incredible avoids too much conversation with me until it is 10am and I've had 2 cups of coffee.
What a sweet post! I also viewed night nursing as a major chore with my older ones, but have enjoyed it, for the most part, this time around. My 17 month old twins just started sleeping through the night, and although I am rejoicing, I also miss the intimacy of nursing them alone at night (especially since during the day they always want to nurse together!).
I love it! I can't even get silence at church, 5 minutes after Mass is over.
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